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Kino Korner September 18, 2007
Preview Review: Rambo IV
Nine months to the rebirth of Rambo By Alexander Zaitchik Browse author Email
Page 2 of 2

The worst-timed film release in motion picture history

The do-gooders go upriver on their own, get caught by the Burmese Army during a raid on a Karen village, and end up prisoners in a Hanoi Hilton-style camp. One of the kids' fathers shows up and pleads for Rambo's help. They say a Christian prayer together -- Stallone, who sent a check to Rick Santorum's reelection campaign, has apparently met Jesus -- and finally the ass-kicking can begin. Serious, high body-count, 80s-action-style, jungle-set ass-kicking. Think Rambo II, minus the communism.

Since this isn't the official trailer, Stallone had free reign and took full advantage. I counted at least 15 kills in the 90-second action montage, including a decapitation by survival knife, a close-range mincing by jeep-mounted machine gun, and a bare-handed throat-rip in which Rambo casually sends a Burmese Adam's Apple bouncing across a bamboo rape room. Like Rambo tells one of the rescued kids, "When you're pushed, killin's as easy as breathin'."

Burned by the end of the Cold War, Stallone was obviously playing it safe by choosing Burma as a political conflict/police state unlikely to change by the time of release. There will be no Burmese Gorbachev. The irony is that 20 years after the misfire release of Rambo III, Hollywood is again open to cartoon Russian villains. Maybe Stallone should bring Drago back for Rocky VII. Last I heard Dolf Lundgren was stuck in straight-to-DVD land and could use the work.

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Alexander Zaitchik is an editor at The eXile. Email him at
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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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