Mankind's only alternative 1   FEB.   23  
Mankind's only alternative
War Nerd RSS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Club Review September 17, 2007
iNightclubbing: Partying in Moscow With The iPhone
On the town with the ultimate broken bait By Dmitriy Babooshka Browse author
The Russian idea of a multifunctional phone: gets you through face control and helps pick up dyevs

I was busy trying to manage my own problems when Ames sent me a panicked email that The eXile needed a new club columnist. He said I am perfect for the job because I represent "the new breed of Putin-era yuppie clubbers."

An insult or a compliment? Who cares. While everybody went away on holidays this August, I stayed home and bought myself an unlocked iPhone. It was very expensive, as you can imagine. But why spend my savings on a trip to Antalia and two weeks in a three-and-a-half-star hotel when I could use the $2000 for the iPhone, which I will have for six months, maybe more? (Generally, I do not keep phones longer than six months.)

Well, the iPhone arrived via a Ukrainian courier, and it didn't work. The technical people who helped me unlock it charged me another 3000 rubles, but the iPhone still didn't recognize my SIM card. The bastard who sold me the phone told me it is Megafon's fault and that unlocked iPhones work with MTS or Beeline.

Even though my iPhone doesn't work, I still take it with me everywhere. I loaded one of my favorite Leningrad songs as the ring tone, which I play frequently to imitate the sound of a real phone call.

Dmitry, The eXile's newest club reviewer, demonstrating his patented face control look

New phone in breast pocket, I drove my red VW Passat to meet some friends at MYATA, the cozy DJ lounge cafe near Sportivnaya with an excellent selection of summer cocktails. All the guys there, like Stas and Max, wanted to talk first about their vacation to Tunis or Egypt. But once they saw my iPhone on the tabletop, memories of summer vacations disappeared. People from other tables looked at us and at my iPhone. If you want to laugh, then I will tell you how a very fashionable girl who was sitting with her purse-dog stared at my iPhone with envy. She started to argue with her boyfriend, saying she wanted an iPhone too, but he ignored her. She very quickly lost interest in her dog, and even left him at the table when they walked away. Only five minutes later did they come back to get the dog.

We had a good laugh at the table over this. Then my friend Stas, who works as a brand manager for a sausage company, suggested that if we really want to laugh, we should check out the new TECHNIKA MOLODEZHI club owned by Comedy Club dude Tash Sarkisyan, which is where a lot of actors hang out. If you don't know Comedy Club, then you're missing out on the best comedy in Russia.

We didn't have any address apart from clue that it's located close to Belorusskaya across from the Golden Palace casino. This area is pure promzona, despite its central location. To get back to town usually costs a double fare by taxi or a long and thrilling walk in the night. Though the strong smell from tobacco factory makes this area very dear for me.

My friends and I are all upwardly mobile managers, so we don't necessarily have close friends in the actor's world. But we had no problems getting in. I had my iPhone out and I was wearing my new Paul Smith outfit. No face control problems for us.

The entrance looked like Murakami-inspired imitation of a Japanese airport, with a big display for upcoming parties. We had some fun looking at odd strips of non-existing comic books on the walls of the club. I was very impressed by the Godzilla-size TV in the dining room broadcasting a view of the Kremlin live to the comedy club, which was twice as big as my LG plasma at home. Each table has paper sheets with color crayons for clients to make their own wild drawings, or may be for CC residents to give away autographs.

The dancefloor was empty perhaps due to the 80s music. So we took a table positioned next to a table of actress dyevs, two of whom were beautiful. I conspicuously played with my iPhone, but they pretended not to be impressed, as good actresses can do. For a few hours we sat there and ate large portions of food and drank reasonably cheap drinks.

SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit

God Can Suck My Dick :
Reklama Review
Russian House Parties Are Cool Again : Is clubbing as dead as disco?

iPafos with the iBook :

How Dick Cheney Got His Cold War On : A Cold War Timetable


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442