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[SIC!] October 22, 2007
 
Your Letters
 
 

[SIC] LETTER OF THE WEEK! WAR SUCKS

Joe Sailor,

Sorry for the loss of your friends. Back in the mid 80s I was still in Moscow working in the spinal trauma center and I remember that feeling of emotional void every time I had to treat the paralyzed Afghan vet. But I also remember getting more and more pissed by the fact that so many young guys were sacrificing their lives for no good reason. In 2003 that feeling instantly resurfaced when Bush took us to Iraq. I won't say a word about how I feel about the ongoing situation in Iraq and Afghanistan; the War Nerd has said it all. But, back to the friends you lost and the girls singing about Russian soldiers killed in Afghanistan. Joe, you may find the Vladimir Vysotsky songs (geocities.com/vysotsky_songs/) about war (some of which are available in English translation) very helpful. V. Vysotsky is still very popular with the older Russians even 27 years after his death. He was a genuine poet, singer, and actor--one of a kind.

Sincerely,

Konstantin Chernukha, MD

Dear Dr. Chernukha, No snide comments to your letter are forthcoming. But a [sic] t-shirt is all yours if you want it. Moreover, we won't nag you for an open OxyContin prescription. Now's not the appropriate time. Of course, if you on your own should come to the conclusion that we are deserving of open OxyContin prescriptions, we wouldn't object. To quote Dr. Johnson, "Man makes an OxyContin beast of himself to ease the pain of being a man." Ease our pain, will ya doc?

SIKH CHICK

Hi, Gary!

I'm Harinder Kaur, but I'm called Mai after the great Sikh warrior woman, Mai Bhago (Mata Bhag Kaur). You didn't mention us women in your article, but I'll forgive you for that because I want to ask a favour.

I have a little personal blog where I tell a lot of stories about growing up and living as a Sikh. I am a survivor, both of the Bluestar Massacre and the Second Battle of Delhi (1984). To establish my bona fides, you may want to read my posts. They describe being tortured in Punjab and the hopeless, but heroic battle we fought in Delhi.

So what does this have to do with you? Frankly, not a damned thing! But I am tired of my pious remembrances and would like to shake up my readers a bit. Your post, "Sikh To Death," had me laughing till tears were streaming down my cheeks. May I please get your permission to publish it on my blog? Please let me know.

Live in chardi kaala,

Mai The Intrepid

Dear Ms. Mai, First of all, why is everyone asking for permission to reprint stuff? Doesn't everyone just steal shit the way we do? Seriously Mai, you've survived torture and massacres. And you're a chick. You don't need to run around asking fat lonely guys half a world away for permission to reprint their articles. Which leads us to the next point: the, uh, "women's" issue. So, like, you're a Sikh chick, eh? Um... like, we're all very interested and moved by your stories of torture and massacres and all that, but we're all kind of wondering...you being Sikh...and female...well, there's a bet going around our offices here, and you can help us resolve it. It has to do with what sort of, er, beard, down there, since you're Sikh and all... We'd like to... well, we've never seen a Sikh chick's... This is kind of hard to put in words, so we'll just come out and ask you: Mai, do you know what a jpeg is?

TURKEY SHOOT

Dear Gary,

Hey Brecher,

First I wanted to say I love the column, and thanks for intellectually spanking the neo-con idiots out there. I, too, am under the impression that Cheney is a Quds Force mole. My question is in regards to the orgy of political shit-flinging up in Northern Iraq, along the Turkish border. With the Armenian slaughter (or genocide, depending on whose side you're on) an issue in Congress, how stupid is our government for bringing this up when we're trying to calm shit down in Iraq? We've effectively pissed off the Turks, who, like you noted in your "Glory to the Turks!" article are our best friends in the Middle East.


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