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[SIC!] October 22, 2007
 
Your Letters
 
Page 3 of 4
 

CANUHDOY

Dear Ms Jones,

I just read your review of a Bio of PG Wodehouse [issue 272]. In truth Ms Jones I had never heard of this particular person before. What struck me was the "realness" and honesty of your review. The Bio's writer passing judgement, inserting himself into the subjects life, in effect using PG as a platform to draw attention to himself, is as you clearly noted all too common in these kind of books. As a Reader I just want to know what happened, how can anyone think they "know" what was inside someone's head all those years ago. Ms Jones we are lucky and wiser than most, if we can fiqure out what's going on inside our own heads.

Ms Jones i really liked your writing, a breath of fresh air and the fact you stuck up for somebody you obviously liked and admired. And you used simple common sense to do so.

Ms Jones I have checked the local library, I live in Toronto CANADA, and there is only one book by a Lady with your name. It's about Niel Kinnock, another guy i've never heard of. Ms Jones do you have any other Books? If so, please advise. Also do you publish in any other mag's?

Ms Jone's i'm sure you are a busy Lady so please respond at your liesure.

With Respect

Anthony Nolan

Dear Mr. Nolan, Your letter looks like it was written from a maximum security prison. How else to explain a Canuck so illiterate he'd actually lower the curve in a South Dakota grammar school class. I guess that's what happens when your currency overtakes the American dollar as the new hard currency of North America: you become even stupider than Americans, almost as a point of pride. Well don't start tootin' your horn yet, O Canada. We Americans are down but not out. With a little elbow grease, we'll figure out how to become even more super-illiterate than our neophyte-illiterate Canadian neighbors. Come on, fellow Americans! Let's take back the illiteracy crown! By God, let's show these Canadians what for!

THE HOLLOW FAN

War Nerd,

Hey, great seeing your stuff appearing in other mags [see the latest War Nerd article in American Conservative magazine--ed.]! About time you started sharing your talents outside of that Exile wasteland.

Stanley

Dear Mr. Stanley, By "Exile wasteland" you mean "wasteland" in the T. S. Eliot sense, right? Because some of our less educated readers might mistake your letter as a putdown, since they're not as educated as you and us. Folks, in case you're as retarded as we think you are, we'll explain this letter to you: Stanley is referring to the Exile's epic-Modernist-poem-in progress, called "The Exile Wasteland," and Stanley is just concerned for the War Nerd, and he wants him to take a break from this monumental literary task. Yeah, it's true, we're working on this big 21st century epic poem that starts off something like, "I am a ragged pair of ass hairs scuttling across the 3000 ruble whore/April is the fourthest month/Bringing with it thirty days including weekends and holidays..." It's not finished yet, but believe you us it's got more APCs (allusions per column-inch) than...well, we can't think of the right allusion here, but seriously, if Great Works allusions is what you want, then Great Works is what you'll get! We're talking hidden Hogan's Heroes allusions up the wazoo, just to give you an example. Stay tuned!

ME AND MS. JONES

Hi,

You guys are always brilliant and, considering your contributors' work, it seems that genius loves company. I enjoyed a lot Eileen Jones' review of McCrum's crummy bio of P.G. Wodehouse. Best gift for my b-day. Thank you, Eileen. You earned the right to a dream date with this investment banker. Your bookstore or mine?


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