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 For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog
 The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog
 A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog
 If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control
 Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control
 Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control
 The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control
 We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control
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| The War Nerd |
November 5, 2007 |
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Burn, Malibu, Burn!
Fire: the most effective, underused weapon in the world
By Gary Brecher
Browse author
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See, the Rex had a special feature for kiddies: every Friday after school was out, all the foreign oil-workers' children would pile into the Rex to watch cartoons. Even a Muslim couldn't object to that, right?
Wrong. There is very little that a real Khomeini-ite can't object to, and for them the idea of kids watching movies on a Friday was so horrible that it just naturally called for one of the Faithful to walk around the Rex that Friday afternoon padlocking all the doors, then pouring a couple five-gallon cans of gasoline under the doors and in the windows, and then setting it on fire. Hundreds of children dead.
I've never forgotten that story. Made me so sick, as if Carter's disgusting puss-out wasn't already nearly killing me, young as I was.
But nobody else remembers it. Did you? Betcha didn't. Betcha never heard of it. And the Iranians weren't bothered at all. A few weeks later, hordes of the stupid fucks swarmed over Tehran to welcome the glorious Imam Khomeini. And a few years after that, hordes of kids not much older than the ones that got crisped in Abadan ran through machine gun fire or volunteered to be human mine detonators for Iranian human-wave attacks across the Shatt al-Arab a few miles from Abadan.
Don't tell me terror doesn't work. Only amateurs think that. And if the Cinema Rex didn't hurt Khomeini's popularity, if Dresden didn't stop London putting up a statue to Bomber Harris, you honestly expect me to even pretend I'm not giggling, damn near jerking off, watching producers' houses burn?
Wake up and smell the ashes.
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| FROM THE VAULT |
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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.
Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."
Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.
Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.
Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.
The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.
Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.
13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...
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