Mankind's only alternative 9   DEC.   22  
Mankind's only alternative

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Feature Story November 6, 2007
The eXile plays the Kremlin's hottest game
Page 7 of 8

2003 Season Standing

Last minute choke, failed to cross the 5% barrier, didn't make it into the Duma playoffs.

Injury Report

Nemtsov has been racked with lawsuit fractures, while in the regions the party is suffering from dislocated resources and pinched kompromat nerves.


If this were a real democracy, the entire party leadership would be pitchforked into farsh. But since this is a managed democracy, we believe that NEL Commissioner Surkov will take a more moderate approach and simply ensure that the SPS doesn't pass the 7% threshold, thereby not entering the Duma post-season.

Great Russia

Rodina has proved that nothing wins games like passion--especially when based ethnic hatred of dark skinned people. Great Russia wanted to pick up where Rodina left off. But the NEL commissioner didn't like Rodina, and he didn't like Great Russia, so he did the wise thing and bought off Great Russia's franchise player Dmitry Rogozin, consigning this project to the trashbin of history.

Team History

Dmitry Rogozin started this party up with fellow nationalist Andrei Savelev, after he got sacked from his quarterback position in the ultra-nationalist Rodina party, a Kremlin project that grew too big for its sponsors and was eventually shut down. After a one-year league suspension for showing too much independence from the Kremlin, Rogozin returned with Great Russia. This time the Kremlin is putting Rogozin out on the pasture by offering him the NATO ambassador job, thereby keeping Rogozin busy in extra-NEL activities, and killing off his new party before they even started.

Team Roster

Dmitry Rogozin, Andrey Savelev


Great Russia's nationalist/chauvinist ideology, which, all things equal, would dominate the league.


Any ideology that doesn't start and end with "blind support of Putin" is a weakness in this league.

Draft Report



Call us "crazy," but something tells us that Great Russia won't be ordering any Duma office nameplates come December 3.

Other Russia

The unofficial opposition to the Kremlin, Other Russia is the scrappy Bad News Bears of the NEL, featuring the league's most unlikely roster: the nerdy chess player, the punk rebel, the 80s bearded liberal, the 90s Central Banker, with special guest appearances by a former Prime Minister known as "Two Percent" and the hot rich cocktease, Masha Gaidar, whose daddy always worries that his daughter is too rebellious for her own good. The results are sometimes funny, and sometimes bloody, depending on how much meat the Kremlin has eaten on any given day.

Team History

Formed in the last year as an umbrella opposition organization, Other Russia distinguishes itself from the rest as the only opposition party that draws the Kremlin dogs into full attack formation. Its street protests have led to hundreds of arrests and beatings, and its similarities to the tactics of the other color revolutionists have brought out the worst fears of the Kremlin's paranoid leaders. Despite all of the Western media's attention, Other Russia isn't the cute Western-style liberal uprising they'd like it to be. It's about 8 parts banned-National-Bolsheviks-Party, 1 part bearded-80s-liberals, and 1 part everyone-else-together. However, at rallies Other Russia attracts a much broader cross-section of Russia's middle-class youth and intelligentsia. The party was denied registration.

SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
Russia Coverage
A Russia-Watcher’s Fairytale :
Cold War Report
The Cornerstone Crumbles : The clock is ticking on the Treaty on Conventional Forces in Europe

Hot Afternoons in Armenia's Frozen Zone :

Ukrainians In the Mist : Gorilla tactics in the campaign for Ukraine's highest office


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442