Mankind's only alternative 18   JAN.   19  
Mankind's only alternative
Vlad's Daily Gloat - The eXile Blog

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Field Guide December 3, 2007
Field Guide To Moscow: Sugarus Daddius

Sugarus Daddius

Caucasian Pimp

Caucasian Pimp

Distinguishing Features: Black hair, slightly retarded sounding Russian accent, brillo-like stubble (Not to be confused with the Markus Amus)

Habitat: While the Sugarus Daddius once roamed freely throughout central Moscow, the rapid expansion of several pafusni species has reduced his habitat to several small enclaves on Leninsky Prospekt, Kurskaya and Lubyanka. Happily, the Sugarus Daddius is still thriving beyond the MKAD, where he can be found after sundown surrounded by hundreds of his preferred mates (Whorus Khokholus).

Danger if Provoked: High. While the Sugarus Daddius rarely attacks, he is protected by several lesser primates that will eliminate any intruder threatening him. Sugarus Daddius is extremely territorial, and will kill competing Sugarus Daddiusi that encroach on his turf.

Mortal Weaknesses: Falls victim to zachistki by the militsia whenever a major international sporting event is scheduled for Moscow and after every Chechen terrorist act.

Comments: Sugarus Daddius is a non-native species from the North Caucusus that has thrived in post-Soviet Moscow. They quickly eliminated native Russian pimps with their aggressive tactics and superior ability to entrap and retain whorus khokholusi thanks to an instinctual combination of violence and pillow talk. A mature Sugarus Daddius can control up to 50 whorus khokholusi, forcing them into numerous daily mating sessions with cash-paying clients.

SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit

Face Control : Soak Up the Savage Lust of Mother Russia!

Frey's Fall : Some Sad Lessons

Bitch Slapped :



Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

War Nerd Summer Reading Guide
The War Nerd By Gary Brecher
It’s summer, you’ve got a little more time off, so you can read up on war instead of trying to live in whatever boring suburb you live in. Lawns, neighbors, dogs, kids—it all sucks and the best thing you can do is get as far out of it as you can.


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442