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Field Guide December 31, 1970
 
Field Guide To Moscow: Churkius Indenturedservitudius
 
 

Churkius Indenturedservitudius

Uzbek Gasterbeiter

Uzbek Gasterbeiter

Distinguishing Features: Dirty workman uniform, weary eyes, papirosy, sandals. Emaciated. Squats to conserve energy.

Habitat: Construction sites. Above ground during the day, sleeping in crammed basement at night.

Danger if Provoked: Low. Churkius Indenturedservitudius is extremely meek due to his lack of legal status, overwork for low pay, and fear of going back to an even worse situation in Uzbekistan. If given cheap vodka, however, danger increases.

Mortal Weaknesses: Vulnerable to militia sweeps when local precinct chief needs to buy his lyubovnitsa a new Ford Focus; not getting paid by his boss; hunger pangs; exhaustion.

Comments: Churkius Indenturedservitudius has been losing territory to rival species from Tadjikistan, Churkius Muleius, thanks in part to Uzbek leader Karimov's anti-Russian policies and Tadjikistan's pro-Russia colony status.

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