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[SIC!] February 8, 2008
 
Your Letters
 
Page 3 of 4
 

BEN OVER

War Nerd,

I read everyone of your pieces a few weeks ago. Now they sort of run together on me. However there was a piece on our copters i found troubling since on a conbat mission they were badly chewed up! Whats up? Have we been swindled out of our tax dollars on a system that can't cut it. I turn to you as i won't get a straight answer from the miltary journals.

I have my doubts about so-called combat copters after what the stinger did to the Russians in the 80s....by the way, fuck that asshole who cant read more than 500 words and fuck all the Malibu non retards who don't read you anyway...viva Bakersfield!!!

Ben

Dear Mr. Ben, No, your tax dollars were wisely spent on those copters. It was a mistake. They all work perfectly fine. The stories about Apaches getting chewed to shreds by Iraqi goat-herders with muskets is pure liberal poppycock. (This message was brought to you by the American Enterprise Institute and their sponsors at Lockheed Martin. Yes, Lockheed Martin: we put your taxdollars to work defending America from Iraqi goat-herders, because we believe that someday, if Americans put their minds to it, we can invent a $100 million dollar flying machine that will be able to neutralize the Iraqi goat-herder threat. If only they didn't have those damn muskets, we'd have already accomplished the impossible!...But until then, with some more elbow grease, accurate reporting from the American Enterprise Institute, and your tax dollars, we'll get there! We landed a man on the moon, after all! Er, rather, we were able to invent a believable-enough set that made people believe we landed a man on the moon, and hey, what you don't know can't hurt, can it? Oh shit, did we just out the fact that we faked the moon landing? Shit-shit-shit, oh shit, this is bad. Really, really bad. Um, can you forget that we just wrote that? Heh-heh. Please? Hold on a second...um, can someone hook me up with the R&D lab...yes, R&D? Hi, this is Tom from corporate? Yeah, I was wondering how that new memory-eraser gadget thing was coming along? You know, the one that we're spending all of Ben's tax dollars on. Have you made much progress yet? No? Ha-ha, yeah, I know I told you, "Don't worry about actually making the memory-eraser work, what matters is making Ben pay us his tax dollars," but you know, that was just a little office joking, like over by the water cooler and stuff, ha-ha! No-no-no, nothing, just checking, ha-ha. Go back to spending Ben's money. I'm, uh, going to take a little weekend getaway. You may not hear from me for awhile. Yeah, forward my calls to my secretary.)

IT'S ME, MASHA

Dear Editor,

May i ask, why do you publish Limonov, is it to show how ridiculous are some of our opposition leaders? His envy to Putin will make him mad sooner or later, imho. I read first 10 and last 10 pages of his book, it was enough to see envy bleeding from every line, Putin is small and his german is not perfect and his wife is ugly and he is not a national type how is that russians want him? WE don't need such president :(. Strange why people don't choose Limonov instead, who knows what to do and is such talented writer, definitely better than Dostoevskii and Tolstoi. Teenagers going to prison can prove it.

Maria

Ps

All written above is a humble opinion. Time will show who is who, possibly one day i will be ashamed of evil hallucinations about Limonov. By now he somehow irrationally irritates.

pps

never voted for Putin

Dear Ms. "Maria,"

Lyudmila Putina, is that you writing to [sic] again in order to defend your hubbie? We're touched by your loyalty, but really, Lyudichka, you've got to stop this and just get on with your life. You're the first-lady for crying out loud, it's time you acted like one too.


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