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[SIC!] February 20, 2008
 
Your Letters
 
Page 3 of 3
 

[SIC]SURROUND

War Nerd,

You are right - the carrier battle groups are nothing but big targets. You may be aware that the Imperial Japanese Navy wargamed the Battle of Midway. The games always ended with the Japanese carriers on the bottom. Fearing that this result might displease the naval command, the wargamers changed the rules unrealistically so that the Japanese always won. You know what really happened.

Ned

Dear Mr. Ned, Yes, unfortunately, we do know what happened. The United States wound up making a movie in the 70s called "The Battle of Midway," which featured "Sensurround." My god, it's even worse than we'd feared! This means...when the battle of the Straits of Hormuz is filmed 10 years from now, featuring the great victory over the "Filipino Monkey" and the speedboats with their boxes, that the movie will be the first to feature "Fagaround," whereby the movie theater patrons will feel it in their guts what it's actually like to be in a 2 billion dollar destroyer facing off against a couple of Iranian waterskiers and a guy with a CB radio. War is hell, Ned! Hell I tell ya!

URUGUAY OR THE HIGHWAY

Dear War Nerd,

Hi, my name is Ignacio Carugati from Uruguay, I recently managed to read your article "Take Americas Navy Battle Group...Please!", really good stuff over there. But then I realized that you wrote another one aobut the "Triple Alianza" war, it was just great. I mean this is a real lame way to say "hey congratulations!" but I think that this tiny little things give you a little push to keep writing that way.

So this is my salute to you, and keep up the good work.

Kind Regards,

Ignacio.

PS.: Sorry for my english like you would probably know Im not a native speaker.

Dear Mr. Ignacio, Just so long as your English is good enough to understand "mow lawn" and "leaf blower in garage" and "no money to pay you" and "go home or I call INS" well that's all the English we really care about.


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