Mankind's only alternative 4   DEC.   22  
Mankind's only alternative
Vlad's Daily Gloat - The eXile Blog

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Club Review February 18, 2008
Club Cruising in Moscow
By Dmitriy Babooshka Browse author

This past week's adventures began on Friday evening, when I was on the way home after a few drinks with my ex-girlfriend. She never minds a quick fuck for memory's sake, while her hard-working husband is out of town on a business trip. Anyway, this is just a personal aside, with no relation to this story.

I was pretty drunk when I left Ksyusha's, dreaming about nothing but getting to my favorite couch. Walking along the slippery frozen streets towards my dream, I suddenly saw something valuable on the ground. There was a passport right in the middle of the puddle saying, "Hey, Dima, come pick me up."

Judging by the picture it belonged to 20-year old loser who was smart enough not to keep cash with his documents. But everything else like Social security card, set of photographs, student ID, year-long public transport pass, and so on were all there.

My first thought was, I can buy myself an Xbox gaming console and 50'' Pioneer plasma TV on credit at Gorbushka. All you need to get credit for a nice new piece of hardware is to flash someone's passport (presumably yours but who cares nowadays).

It was a very tempting situation so I called my ex-girlfriend and asked to take full responsibility for the decision. Ksyusha said she wouldn't mind a new espresso machine and offered a lift to Gorbushka next day to complete out our transaction.

I was standing in the middle of dark and cold street completely alone, trying to decide what to do. The choice was between having Ksyusha making love to me on the table next to her Italian coffee machine; or this stupid dude who'll have to spend the next month going through the bureaucratic machine trying to renew his passport. I was wondering whether he works or not or whether his parents' salary will be enough to pay off whatever credit deal I charge to his name.

Though judging by the address of his propiska they certainly could handle buying not just a coffee machine but even a new mid-priced car.

Suddenly I decided that I should chose charity. I couldn't remember much of good from the past except maybe Kolyan, rayon guy who we took out to the center once and that changed his world completely. For dramatic improvement of my karma it was certainly not enough. So I decided to find this guy's address and give him back his passport. Right away.

I don't remember how much time I spent cruising around the neighborhood trying to figure out his address. I luckily escaped some drunk gopniki trying to beat the shit out of me (you can find armies of them in the night even in elitny downtown neighborhoods!). Finally I stood in front of a solid metal door. It was the entrance to some very expensive residential building. It was about 2 am when I started to call different apartments because the one I needed didn't answer.

Moscow is a rough city and if you are sober you don't expect people to open their thick metal doors to a stranger in the middle of the night. So I explained to the door my situation and how I wanted to do an act of charity. No luck. The people on the other side just hung up the domaphone without explanation. Then all of a sudden some gentle man's voice came on over the domaphone and asked me to come upstairs.

Their names were Luther and Nikolai, a German-Russian gay couple. Nice guys by the way, although I don't have many gay pals. I was worried about my ass the whole time, but other than that, it was fine.

They were very impressed by my story about the passport and promised to give it back to the owner who lived next door. I didn't want to stay too long in this strange couple's apartment, and suggested we leave for a club or something.

Luther got very excited and promised to take me to the best club for a club review ever (by that time I already secured my ass saying I'm a club reviewer for the eXile, which certainly says a lot about my sexual orientation). It sounded like an interesting idea so we left to see DEN' I NOCH' (DAY AND NIGHT) a gay club somewhere in a remote area of Polezhaevskaya.

SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit

Recession Penis :
Luke Harding's Facebook Page: No Comment :
Strange Sausage Love :
Utah Morons
Your Letters :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442