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The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
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Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
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Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
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Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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[SIC!] March 10, 2008
 
Your Letters
 
Page 3 of 3
 

Respectfully Yours,

Well-wisher

Dear Mr. Well-wisher, Here's what's wrong with your letter: it asks us to lift our little pinkies and work. We don't respond to those types of letters. Send us praise or some idiotic rant, anything that requires the least amount of work possible from our end, and you may get lucky and have your letter published in [sic]

DELIVERANCE

Dear Mark Ames,

You wrote abut the North Illinois U. shooting: "If we bracket his massacre as the work of an evil lunatic on drugs, we'll miss yet another opportunity to genuinely examine what life is like for most Americans today, who live in that terrifying gap between the official propaganda about a nation of happy fun-loving Number Ones, and the reality of mediocrity, petty malice, and a flat physical setting that reflects the malice and mediocrity of its town elders."

So, maniacs kills students at a university because of the boring layout of the town? I've rarely seen anything so malicious and elitist. Truly breathtakingly stupid. Remind me not to read anything else you've written.

George Standfast

Dear Mr. Standfast, Mark Ames replies, "I started reading your letter, but it was so boring and flat, kinda like the boring flat state you come from, that all I could think of was, ‘Gee I wish I had a 9mm Glock, a dufflebag and my camos, I'd really like to go shooting up a Wendy's right now.' But then I remembered that I'm more elite than you, so I don't need to do that. Whew! That was close, wasn't it, uh…wait, what was your name again? Who was I writing about? Oops, hold on, Chomsky's calling on my mobile, gotta go. ‘Noam, mon ami! Ca va? Bien, bien! D'accord, les americains ont beaucoup stupides!'"

VOLGA ENVY

Yasha,

loved the article on your Volga. I have always wanted one of those cars but couldnt figure on how to get it to the states! And since Im a woman I guess thats impossible!!

Anon

Dear Ms. Anon, Wait, you're a woman? Dang! Can you—this is a little embarrassing, but please don't be offended if we ask—um, can you send us a jpeg of your Volga's snapper?

US-APPROVED!

Dear Mr. Ames:

I am a U.S. government official who has spent the least 25 years in Latin America, with the exception of two years in a Houston suburb and various trips back fro business, to see family, etc. I recently moved back to the U.S. but I hope to get another overseas assignment - fast. What you say about the U.S. is absolutely correct, spot on. Those of us who are lucky enough to have jobs that take us overseas, even to the Third World, are appalled by what has happened to our once beautiful country.

Make no mistake. I am not one of those tiresome fools who travel overseas and bore everybody who lives outside the U.S. with stories about how much they hate their country, etc. [NOTE: We are—Ed.] Not at all. I love my country. When I return to the U.S. I same the same feeling one has when you encounter a dear old friend who is obviously dying of cancer. Pity, pain, sorrow - and horror.

Keep up the good work. Spread the word. We don't have much time to turn this thing around, especially in view of the pitiful election prospects.

Chuck Burgess

Dear Mr. Burgess, If you don't mind, then let us please bore you on page 4 with how much we hate our country, and how ungrateful we are for the gift of American freedom.


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FROM THE VAULT

Megatons and Memory Holes : Richard Rhodes, Richard Perle, and the Man Who Saved the World

There Will Be Idiots: The Paul Thomas Anderson Sham :

Ukrainians In the Mist : Gorilla tactics in the campaign for Ukraine's highest office

Hanging With The Gopota :
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
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We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

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Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

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[SIC!]
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Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

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