Mankind's only alternative 21   MAR.   18  
Mankind's only alternative

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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[SIC!] April 16, 2008
Your Letters
Page 2 of 4

I bought your book. Keep up the good work…

Zim from Belgium

Dear Mr. Zim, We posted your letter. Keep up the good buying.


Dear Mrs. Jones,

I loved your book review of Robert McCrum's Wodehouse bio. Your review, unlike McCrum's brick, is real and raw. Somebody needs to rip into these phonies. And nobody does it like the exile. I'm an aspiring freelancer/writer (collector of rejection letters) and look to people like you, Dolan, and Ames for inspiration. Keep on fighting--


Dear Mr. Brandon, Thank you for sending us this letter. Unfortunately at this time, we cannot accept your submission. While we usually include words of encouragement in our rejection letters to aspiring free-lancers like yourself, sadly, your case is so hopeless that we can't even fake it. You have two choices open to you: Kelly Services, or the guns 'n ammo section at Sam's Club.


Dear Mr. Zaitchik,

Just a quick note to tell you that I enjoyed your article on Azerbaijan in eXile. (If "enjoyed" is an appropriate word for the depiction of such squalid misery.) I click on eXile mainly for the humour of Vlad's gloats. (I'm an American who emigrated to Australia because I was morally revulsed at President Cheney's genocide in Iraq, and because I saw that an economic collapse was coming, so I enjoy his snark.) And even though I've seen commentary that eXile is a propaganda front for the Kremlin, I frequently learn things from it despite the bias.

I've been reading about Azerbaijan for years in terms of the conflict with Armenia. One of the images about it that stuck in my mind was a picture from National Geographic from shortly after Azerbaijan's independence. It showed three Azeri soldiers in shabby military garb on a snow-covered ridge, struggling to lift a shiny artillery shell that they would fire in the fight over Nagorno-Karabakh. It struck me as sad, that these guys were freezing and impoverished; that the only thing of monetary value was the expensive shell that they'd soon blow up in a bang that cost as much as they'd make in months. Reading your story, I can see that while that conflict might have simmered down, the travesty of power-madness continues. And the people are still ground down under the grimy bootheels of the leaders.

I don't know what feedback you get for your efforts, but realise there's one bloke in a far-flung corner of the planet who says "Good onya" for doing it.

Rick Buck

St. Kilda, Victoria

Dear Mr. Buck, Why'dya do it, huh? Your letter really had us going with its correct balance of praise for a specific article, familiarity with our oeuvre, and added commentary which, by its very second-ratedness, ensured your place as a follower-and-fan… and then yuh had to muck it all up with that idiotic "Good onya" bit at the end. As if to say, "Oh yeah, and by the way, I'm a complete fucking idiot, so don't let my praise go to your head or anything."


Hello Vlad.

How much is gas money in your country? And before you go on about Petersburg and Moscows economys being so great... hows about the rest of the country. You do realize there is more to Russia than the two above mentioned cities don't you? And so some chick sucked off this guy for gas. Iv'e had Russian whores propisition me before ....lots of time. Especially the banyas... for 40 bucks!!! ...yeah,1000 rubles... provintial towns...and? Your country isnt doing any better either.... hows about the pupet regime from Putin? as I said before: I am tired of the America bashing. That is essentially what I have to say. I like America, I can say what I want, work where I want. Vote, and actually make a difference. And have the right to own guns...that many as I want.

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In Brief!
Al Gore Concedes Prize :

The Asscademy Awards! :

Your Letters :
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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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