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Vlad's Daily Gloat - The eXile Blog

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
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Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
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May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
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[SIC!] April 16, 2008
Your Letters
Page 3 of 4

There is no other place in the world like America. All these rights we have are inherent. That is to say we inhereted them from God. All living beings have inherent rights from God. Provided that their government recognizes them. Yes, I like Russia also, and of course they are going to be the next super country. Of course.... they have 9 time zones of raw material. And a work force ready to take on the task. And... you can thank good ol' America for this.

You remember history don't you? You remember ..''Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall'' don't you? Do you remember the cold war that bankrupted the Soyuz Sovietestcy, Socialistcy Rest-puuu-blik don't you. You remember the 'murderous' regimes of the past dictators of Russia don't you. Thank good old America for your new found freedom. Do you actually think that you could say what you want in your paper... about Russian economy? or Putin? or voting? During say.... Khrushchev's reign? how about Stalin?

I dare to say you would be harvesting say....a cup of casha a day, wage. And all the free gulag sex you can take..or give. Well, excuse me... I gotta go make some fantastic money, work,..ohhh 3 hours or so today...and then I think I will go home. Also excuse me for my poor grammar and spelling...I don't use spell check, and didn't have to go to the university to make a living here. Because the economy is fantastic. God bless the USA. and He will.. because we humble ourselfs before Him and ask.

Kalashnikov huh?... got one? I do... its by my front door. No.. its not made my ishmash.... its chinese, and semi auto.... not full. Gee Vlad I didnt need a licence or nothing. Hows about you? what kind of hoops do you have to jump through to get one? or even a shotgun? You dont have to answer.. I know. Hey... hows about fixing your crappy server.... whats powering it? a Commadore 64? its slow like honey in the winter.

Daniel Allen

Oklahoma city

Dear Mr. Allen, Wow, so America has finally wired up the trailer parks. Ain't that somethin! Some people might argue that your sub-retarded English grammar is proof of America's decline, but we say, "Give Daniel Allen a chance! If you grew up with your uncle Jethro's dick in your ass and tornadoes blowing overhead, and you had upward-slanting eyes and an abnormally-shaped head with stunted arms, your English grammar would be worse than a Mexican lettuce-picker's too, just like Daniel Allen's is." God bless you, Mr. Allen, you chromosomically-challenged patriot you, for standing up for the stars 'n stripes. And if someone says, "Why the fuck isn't Daniel Allen in Iraq," we answer, "Oh just you wait! Daniel Allen ain't the type who'd let his country down by staying in his trailer home surfing Free Republic all day. Nosirree! Daniel's gonna go to Iraq faster than you can say "Doyee!" He don't need no fancy education."


War Nerd,

Yes, toilet paper and toothpaste can be made unbelieveably hard, but the best material for blades come from the steel reinforcements in work shoes. To kill someone quickly, one needs to slash, rather than stab, so a broad-bladed shank made from the steel shank of a work shoe is best. Why do you think they're called "shanks"? The anti-slip friction strips on the concrete steps come up easily enough, and are perfect for sharpening steel. I did three years in the feds, and so saw all sorts of interesting things.

I took the other approach, though. With a MS in chemistry and 79 US and foreign patents, I ran an informal GED study group and taught my cellmate, a biker nazi everyone called "Frankenstein" how to read. I brought him from "Tip & Mitten" to "Aviation Week & Space Technology" while I was there. Nobody bothered me, and so a certain orifice remained an exit-only operation, while my students gave me all sorts of commissary items out of gratitude.

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
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Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
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eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
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Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
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Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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