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The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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[SIC!] June 2, 2008
 
Your Letters
 
Page 2 of 3
 

Karl

Dear Mr. Karl, Since you already bought the War Nerd’s book, we really don’t see any point in obliging you. You see, out here in Russia, we do things our own way, and we don’t need any lectures from you Westerners on what "customer service" really means. We have our own traditions and history, and our history tells us, "If someone gave you money before you provided the service, then fuck ‘im."

"T" FOR TENNESS[sic]

War Nerd,

I’ve been receiving emails from the Stratfor dudes for about 2 years, (I don’t pay for the ‘premium’ content). Supposedly, they are known as the shadow CIA, if this is true, then these truly are the desperate of times. I just finished your latest article and when I received this ‘bonus’ excerpt, I knew I had to pass it along I had intended on making a smart remark about you needing to include more or at least one Starbucks spy, but that would stretch the level of credulity, and I just couldn’t have done it with a straight face. Keep up the excellent work, your foresight on the Lebanon situation has proven terrifyingly accurate, but made perfect sense.

As we say in Tennessee, if you ain’t Muslim, you ain’t Shi’ite…

Thanks for keeping it real…

Ron

Dear Mr. Ron, Daniel Allen replies, "I don’t quite understand your Tennessee high-falutin’ sayings, but out here in Oklahoma, we have a saying as well: If you ain’t getting fucked in the ass by your uncle Jethro, you ain’t Daniel Allen."

FACESOFDEATHBOOK.COM

Dear GaryGary:

Just came across your stuff and I am enjoying it very much. I have asked this question on the strategypage boards and no one seemed to know the answer or just guessed. Is there a general or admiral who achieved that rank during WW2 still alive? Davy Jones of the USAir Corp and a veteran of the Doolittle raid is still alive in his 90s and I believe that he made full bird in WW2 and a General subsequently. I don’t even know how to find an answer to this question. I think it would make an interesting article if there are a couple left alive. Maybe some Russian? Who knows.

We are surely in the last few years of the life of the last WW1 veteran. I am surprised that there isn’t a count down somewhere of these folks.

Anyway, something to think about. Thanks for your hard work.

Regards,

Larry Dickerson

Dear Mr. Dickerson, We have some good news and some bad news. Good news: about 10 years ago, in anticipation of your letter, we found the last surviving general, Maj. General Ralph Corbett Smith, described by the New York Times as a "rugged Nebraskan"; bad news is that Daniel Allen got in his pickup truck, headed over from Oklahoma to pay tribute to Gen. Smith’s service to the United States…but, well, once Daniel Allen saw an old man who reminded him of his grandpa, he just control his peanut-licking urge, and the next thing you know, he’s buried in a military cemetery with full honors. His last words, apparently, were, "I fought… for the wrong… side…"

CON[sic]PATED

OK, Mark,

I cannot take it no longer. I am a long-time Exile fan, and keep a stack of Exiles on top of my toilet bowl (shitting is the time when I do 90% of my reading)... Here is what pisses me off - first, you have removed my favorite WhoRe Stories section.. It has been months since I could find anything even close to that ingenious article of yours on fucking a whore every hour through the night to celebrate the Exile anniversary... nothing like that! Did you guys turn into old fags no longer interested in money-for-sex??


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FROM THE VAULT

Gilligan's Gulf :
McCain
US Elections Special Part I: A McCainiac On The Loose :
Good Night, Bad Luck
Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey : In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face

666: The Number Of The Bust :
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

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