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The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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[SIC!] June 2, 2008
 
Your Letters
 
Page 3 of 3
 

Well, ok, I thought, at least I still have my Face Control section... but this one has gone rotten as well... you know what is the ratio of uncensured boobs per Face Control in the last 10 Exiles? 0.2 boob per section!! Aren’t you ashamed?? And now - this ridiculous new Scanning Traffic Cops section... "Olga 865 Ulyanka Khoriton 96 063 Second Third" - what in the hell is that?? Jesus Christ - why dont you hire a fucking monkey as an editor and just let her hammer on the keyboard - that article would make much more sense!

In short, Mark, something must be done. Otherwise, expect to get the bill from my practitioner, after I get a psychoneurotic constipation the next time I try to shit reading your newspaper!!!

Best,

Petos

Dear Mr. Petos, Mikhail Khodorkovsky replies, "Wow, gosh, I really get to answer a [sic] letter? I guess what they’re saying about Medvedev is true—he really is a liberal! You know, I’ve had a lot of time to sit here and think about things, look back at my life, achievements done, tasks accomplished. But answering [sic] was always one of those things I dreamed of one day doing, but never though would be possible. So, I’ve had a lot of time to think about this letter, go over the proper mix of insulting language and light-hearted humor, while at the same time taking into consideration may other factors, and here’s the response I’ve come up with. Ready? Here goes. Petos, you—" [Note to readers: due to a "proverka," Mr. Khodorkovsky could not finish his answer. There is nothing to be alarmed about. He will most surely be back next week to answer more [sic] letters. There is nothing unusual about such a "proverka"—these kinds of things happen all the time in all Western countries. So, go back to what you’re doing.—Ed.]


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LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
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Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

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Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
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Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

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