For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
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Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
I'm calling in an urgent request for reinforcements, before we're overrun. The eXile, my HQ since I started this column, has been sucker-punched by a bunch of squeamish bureaucrats and anonymous complainers. You know the type, the kind of people who'll poison your dog but don't have the guts to come to your door. Looks like this Fifth Column is winning, and we'll be forced to retreat from Moscow. And you know how messy retreats from Moscow can get. Ask the Little Corporal; he left the Kremlin with half a million men and came home with about enough for a high-school marching band.
Well, the Bible gives clear instructions on what to do if the locals spit on you for trying to help'em out. It's right there in the Book, in fact the Book of Mark, Chapter 6 if I recall, makes for a nice Mark-Ames tie-in, huh? Here's what the Bible says:
"And whosoever shall not hear you, when ye depart, shake off the dust under your feet for a testimony against them. Verily, It shall be easier for Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment, than for them."
Ya hear that, Moscow, ya ungrateful place? We're shakin' your dust from our 'Nam boots and setting up a new site somewhere not so allergic to truth, boobs and gory jokes. Maybe we can get Eritrea to give us a home. I volunteer to be the eXile's Eritrean rep right now.
The thing is, it takes money and we have none, zero, aren't even getting paid any more. We need help. That's what this mayday is about. You want us in the foxhole with you, fighting against all that's good and decent in the name of all that's funny and honest? Then cough it up, soldier!
—Gary Brecher, The War Nerd
The eXile needs you to donate money right away so that we can pay our system administrator and find a new server somewhere overseas, and maybe throw the War Nard a few Milk Duds. Click the button below to donate through PayPal and make yourself feel good in 2 E-Z steps.
|FROM THE VAULT|
MySQL Query Error: SELECT BE.ID as ID,B.DETAIL_PAGE_URL as DETAIL_PAGE_URL,BE.PREVIEW_PICTURE as PREVIEW_PICTURE,IF(EXTRACT(HOUR_SECOND FROM BE.ACTIVE_FROM)>0, DATE_FORMAT(BE.ACTIVE_FROM, '%Y-%m-%d %H:%i:%s'), DATE_FORMAT(BE.ACTIVE_FROM, '%Y-%m-%d')) as DATE_ACTIVE_FROM,BE.NAME as NAME,BE.PREVIEW_TEXT as PREVIEW_TEXT,BE.PREVIEW_TEXT_TYPE as PREVIEW_TEXT_TYPE,L.DIR as LANG_DIR,BE.CODE as CODE,BE.XML_ID as EXTERNAL_ID,BE.IBLOCK_SECTION_ID as IBLOCK_SECTION_ID,B.IBLOCK_TYPE_ID as IBLOCK_TYPE_ID,BE.IBLOCK_ID as IBLOCK_ID,B.CODE as IBLOCK_CODE,B.XML_ID as IBLOCK_EXTERNAL_ID FROM b_iblock B INNER JOIN b_lang L ON B.LID=L.LID INNER JOIN b_iblock_element BE ON BE.IBLOCK_ID = B.ID WHERE 1=1 AND B.ID IN (0,35) AND ( (BE.WF_STATUS_ID=1 AND BE.WF_PARENT_ELEMENT_ID IS NULL) ) AND ((((BE.ACTIVE='Y')))) AND ((((BE.IBLOCK_ID = '35')))) AND (((NOT(BE.PREVIEW_PICTURE IS NULL)))) ORDER BY RAND(930096) LIMIT 4[Got error 122 from storage engine]
DB query error.
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DATE_FORMAT(B.DATE_SHOW_FIRST, '%Y-%m-%d %H:%i:%s') DATE_SHOW_FIRST,
DATE_FORMAT(B.DATE_SHOW_FROM, '%Y-%m-%d %H:%i:%s') DATE_SHOW_FROM,
DATE_FORMAT(B.DATE_SHOW_TO, '%Y-%m-%d %H:%i:%s') DATE_SHOW_TO,
INNER JOIN b_adv_banner B ON (
and B.TYPE_SID = T.SID
and B.STATUS_SID = 'PUBLISHED'
and (B.FOR_NEW_GUEST is null or B.FOR_NEW_GUEST='Y')
and (ifnull(B.MAX_SHOW_COUNT,0)>ifnull(B.SHOW_COUNT,0) or ifnull(B.MAX_SHOW_COUNT,0)=0)
and (ifnull(B.MAX_CLICK_COUNT,0)>ifnull(B.CLICK_COUNT,0) or ifnull(B.MAX_CLICK_COUNT,0)=0)
and (ifnull(B.MAX_VISITOR_COUNT,0)>ifnull(B.VISITOR_COUNT,0) or ifnull(B.MAX_VISITOR_COUNT,0)=0)
and (B.DATE_SHOW_FROM<=now() or B.DATE_SHOW_FROM is null or length(B.DATE_SHOW_FROM)<=0)
and (B.DATE_SHOW_TO>=now() or B.DATE_SHOW_TO is null or length(B.DATE_SHOW_TO)<=0))
INNER JOIN b_adv_banner_2_site BS ON (
BS.BANNER_ID = B.ID
and BS.SITE_ID = 'ru')
INNER JOIN b_adv_contract C ON (
C.ID = B.CONTRACT_ID
and (ifnull(C.MAX_SHOW_COUNT,0)>ifnull(C.SHOW_COUNT,0) or ifnull(C.MAX_SHOW_COUNT,0)=0)
and (ifnull(C.MAX_CLICK_COUNT,0)>ifnull(C.CLICK_COUNT,0) or ifnull(C.MAX_CLICK_COUNT,0)=0)
and (ifnull(C.MAX_VISITOR_COUNT,0)>ifnull(C.VISITOR_COUNT,0) or ifnull(C.MAX_VISITOR_COUNT,0)=0)
and (C.DATE_SHOW_FROM<=now() or C.DATE_SHOW_FROM is null or length(C.DATE_SHOW_FROM)<=0)
and (C.DATE_SHOW_TO>=now() or C.DATE_SHOW_TO is null or length(C.DATE_SHOW_TO)<=0))
INNER JOIN b_adv_contract_2_site CS ON (
CS.CONTRACT_ID = B.CONTRACT_ID
and CS.SITE_ID = 'ru')
INNER JOIN b_adv_contract_2_type CT ON (
CT.CONTRACT_ID = C.ID
and (CT.TYPE_SID = 'ALL' or CT.TYPE_SID = T.SID))
INNER JOIN b_adv_banner_2_weekday BW ON (
BW.BANNER_ID = B.ID
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INNER JOIN b_adv_contract_2_weekday CW ON (
CW.CONTRACT_ID = C.ID
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LEFT JOIN b_adv_banner_2_group UG1 ON (
(UG1.BANNER_ID = B.ID
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LEFT JOIN b_adv_banner_2_page BP1 ON (
BP1.BANNER_ID = B.ID
LEFT JOIN b_adv_banner_2_page BP2 ON (
BP2.BANNER_ID = B.ID
and '/articles/detail.php?ARTICLE_ID=19253&IBLOCK_ID=35' like concat(BP2.PAGE, '%'))
LEFT JOIN b_adv_contract_2_page CP1 ON (
CP1.CONTRACT_ID = C.ID
LEFT JOIN b_adv_contract_2_page CP2 ON (
CP2.CONTRACT_ID = C.ID
and '/articles/detail.php?ARTICLE_ID=19253&IBLOCK_ID=35' like concat(CP2.PAGE, '%'))
LEFT JOIN b_adv_banner_2_stat_adv BA ON BA.BANNER_ID = B.ID
LEFT JOIN b_adv_banner_2_country BC ON BC.BANNER_ID = B.ID
T.ACTIVE = 'Y'
and BP2.ID is null
and CP2.ID is null
and (BP1.ID is null or '/articles/detail.php?ARTICLE_ID=19253&IBLOCK_ID=35' like concat(BP1.PAGE, '%'))
and (CP1.ID is null or '/articles/detail.php?ARTICLE_ID=19253&IBLOCK_ID=35' like concat(CP1.PAGE, '%'))
and (BA.STAT_ADV_ID is null or BA.STAT_ADV_ID='0')
and (BC.COUNTRY_ID is null or BC.COUNTRY_ID='')
(B.SHOW_USER_GROUP = 'Y' and UG1.GROUP_ID is not null)
(B.SHOW_USER_GROUP <> 'Y' and UG1.GROUP_ID is null)
ORDER BY B.TYPE_SID desc, C.ID desc
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