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[SIC!] February 20, 2002
 
E-Mail Your Letters to [SIC]:
 
Page 2 of 4
 
Love,

Sister

Dear Sister,

Who is this Jewish lady trapped by Chechens that you're talking about? Is she cute? Does she have much money? Does she, you know, give helmet scrubs?

MCFAUL-IDELPHIA

I've only been reading since 12.01 (issue 129ish) and I must say, the McFaul article has been one of my favs in the hard-hitting, you suck fat dick you whoremonger genre.

After a little research (because let's face it, I'monly slightly politically inclined) I'd have to compare McFaul to a jock that is really gay but still trying to pass himself of as a misogynistic jock.

I wanted to say it's a good write and I have nothing more.

-Jaded

Dear Mr. Jaded,

Wait a minute... we too are really just a bunch of homosexuals passing ourselves off as misogynistic jocks! Does this mean we have a chance with him?

CANUCKOPHILE

Tell Izvestia news they should ask their Foreign Minister to return to Moscow with "his tail between his legs." Of course he would carp, bitch and complain; all Russians that cannot accept the truth will lie and deny !! It is unfortunate to get "caught with your hand in the French cookie jar!" Had your Russian skaters who were awarded the gold medal through a conspiracy with the French had any integrity and honor, they would have given the medal to the Canadians and admitted the truth.

An American who speaks the TRUTH....prove it otherwise !!!

Dear Mr. American,

What kind of pansy-ass American citizen would a). care about figure skating, b). root for wimpy, ugly Canada over a large nuclear-armed imperial power teeming with beautiful sluts like Russia, and c). write all that in one pithy paragraph and send it to the eXile? We think we know the answer: Michael McFaul. Come home, Mikey. It's time. Put the gun down, and give us a big hug!

SARA, SMILE

Dear Dan,

No thank you, I don't think you actually CAN make me shiver :) no offence, but you're definitely NOT my type. Plus, I never really liked being number 13456+ in some male slut's list :):).

Thanks for the offer though. Next time I'm desperate for a fuck, I'll let you know.

Sara

Dear Ms. Sara,

Dan Higgins replies, "What are those smiley faces for, bitch? Here's my reply: **%. Know what that is? It's your face after I've wendeled you and face painted your nostrils."

STAG NATION

Hey everyone,

I've been reading exile since God knows when, sometimes irritating, sometimes great! In fact, Dan Higgins' stuff actually inspired myself and a couple of my friends to start a small travel company that works exclusively on bringing people over here for STAG NIGHTS :) So far, we've done really really well. So, I'm writing to say THANK YOU for your inspiring ideas. And thank you for being there to annoy the living crap out of us!

V. Barry

Dear Mr. Barry,

Keep your and all your loser clients' filthy disease-ridden genitalia out of Russia! Our filthy disease-ridden genitalia don't like competition! Even if they don't work anymore.

CASTRATING DYKES

To the executive editor, Exile:

It has come to my personal attention that your publication makes a habit of adopting a tone of voice that is extremely offensive to the persons of the female gender. In this you are propagating a poisonous propaganda that has no place in the advanced society. I have personally made note of your tone of voice within the letters section, where you respond to every feminine-gendered colocutor with extremely insulting sexist crudity. I have never seen something like this anywhere in all my life.

In Switzerland such behavior is actionable, and entitle the plaintiff to damages, an injunction, and a public written apology. It is essential that you take an immediate and effective action to remove the objectionable material from the Internet, and that you refrain from any repetition of this or other violations in the future.


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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
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The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

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Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

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