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Feature Story May 29, 2002
 
The Christ Cup 2002: Pregame Show!
 
Page 2 of 4
 
...Okay, we're back here at VNeX, the Victim League fans' only 24-hour network with eXclusive coverage of the 2002 World Victimization League's Christ Cup Finals.

Let's turn now to our award-winning team covering this year's finals.

With us for the pre-cup finals coverage is Jim McKay, whom we all know from his stellar coverage of one of the great World Victimization League regular season matches. It was 1972 in Munich, where the Israelis, then the world's undisputed champions, got shaken in Munich by an almost totally unknown expansion team who called themselves "The Palestinians." The match took place in Munich, home to so many memorable Victimization League matches throughout the centuries. And boy was that a moment.

Sitting beside Jim McKay in the booth is Tom Jackson, former Denver Broncos linebacker and still as black as ever.

And joining them is the inimitable rant machine, America's favorite quipster, Dennis Miller. This is a guy who'll make a victim out of all of us!

Over to you, Jim.

POINT SYSTEM

Keeping Score in the WVL Christ Cup 2002 our poverty-stricken heels!

VICTIMPOINTS
Non-Christian massacred by Christians3
Christian massacred by non-Christians0
Massacred by Muslim0.3
Massacred or jailed by Communists2.1
Massacred or jailed by China0.7
Massacred by other0.0015
Americans massacred by non-Americans3.2
American missionary in Russia1.3
Jews3.35
African-American1.8
Black South African1.4
White South African1.2
African0.45
Irish Catholic1.26
Basque0.31
Guatemalan Indian0.31
Fergana Valley Uzbek0
Karen -0.3
Male0
*Male forced to grow beards2.4
Working class white males1.4
White trash1.45
Females1.5
African-American female1.2
Upper-middle class female married to cold corporate husband2.2
*Recovered-memory victims1.8
Other female0.7
*Female forced to cover face2.4
Gay1.4
Lesbian2.3
Bi-sexual-1.1
HIV-positive0.3
HIV-positive gay artist2.2
HIV-positive Third World heterosexual0.25
HIV-positive drug addict -3.5
Malaria-infected n/a
Dysentery-infected n/a
*Palestinian in Israeli-occupied territory2.9
*Palestinian in Arab refugee camp0.2

Palestinian soccer players turning and covering their balls

Jim McKay: Good morning and welcome to the 2002 World Victimization League Christ Cup Finals pre-game preview. I'm Jim McKay, and I'm joined here by Tom Jackson and Dennis Miller. We've also got with us in the studio today one of the real Cinderella stories in the WVL, General Manager of the Palestinian team Yasser Arafat. Welcome, gentlemen.

All: Good morning.

McKay: Tom, it's been a helluva four-year season, full of upsets, surprises, ups and downs.


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