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The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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[SIC!] June 26, 2002
Your Letters

Write us:


Dear eXile,

It seems like a very bad omen that 500,000 rubles = $16,666.66. How can I send a donation, from NY, to help the paper?

Dan Palchik

Dear Mr. Palchik,

Instead of sending us money, why don't you just send us a jpeg of your mom's snapper?


Dear Sirs;

Please see our notice of copyright infringement below. This is in regards to which is a site hosted by your company. United Feature Syndicate, Inc. owns all of the copyrights, trademarks, and other subsidiary rights relating to the Dilbert comic strip and its characters. Please read and respond to this letter immediately.

Thank you,

Debra Strougo

Heil, Frau Straugo!

Brrrrr. Yep, we read the letter. We damn near wet our diapers. So here is our response, immediately:



hey there-

I'm not a hockey player, but I read your paper for free on the internet and it's only fair that I send you something. I haven't been in Russia since 1994 and you guys're my lifeline until I can get my ass back there. Let me know what's up, how I can send you some cash, etc.



Dear Jason,

You know something? We realized we were jerks to Dan up there, and in a way that was totally unnecessary, even by our standards. That wasn't right. It was downright rude, disgusting, and gratuitously sophomoric. Moreover, it only hurts us. And for what? A cheap laugh? The fact is that we really don't want a jpeg of Dan's mom's snapper (we already have several -- there's nothing Mrs. Palchik won't do for a camera!). Nope, what we want is money, and the reason we want money is that we want to keep putting out the eXile for all you folks out there in cyber-land. Stay tuned for the eXile's «ExAID» donation drive and concert to save the eXile. We're talking big-time stars here, folks. Here's a hint: ever heard of Serge and Journey Band? Huh? Does that get your heart racing a little? That's just a teaser! Trust us, we're talking on the level of a band like Uriah Heep's bass player, or even Ser-Ga!


I really enjoyed your piece on Tatarstan, which confirms a lot of what I've heard but have never been able to check out directly. It's much better than Jeffrey Tayler's article in the Atlantic a couple of months ago. (In case you missed it, he argues that McDonald's and television will keep Islamic fundamentalism at bay.)

It's also worth mentioning that Mintimer Shamiev is playing the same game that the leaders of Egypt and Saudi Arabia played, building up his popularity with housing subsidies and nationalist-but-not-too-nationalist appeals to the Tatars, while running an autocracy with «ivory snow» Soviet-style elections. He's a real piece of work, and I doubt that Putin will be able to get rid of him easily.

-- js

Dear js,

You forgot to add one vital thing: what a sexy ass Mintimer Shamiev has. It almost made us question our own sexuality. Just the thought of squeezing Shamiev's ass, kneading it like dough, and rolling the saggy flesh into triugolnie... Let's face it: Shamiev puts the "X" in sex!


Hey there-

I follow your column with great interest and amusement -- for an armchair sergeant, you've got some pretty goddamn good perspectives. As an intelligence professional (stop fucking laughing), I need all the perspective I can get, so keep that shit up.

Just thought I would send you this article -- it's amusing as hell that the U.S. makes a habit of following 2nd-class powers like France (and now Russia!) into one strategic tidal swamp after another, regardless of the warning signs sprouting up everywhere. As a member of the armed forces whose bag is always packed, I find it especially disconcerting. Ah, well -- it's the price I pay for getting all of that cheap shopping on base, right?

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Separated At Scrotum :

2001: A Zap Odyssey :
Trolleybus Conductor
Field Guide To Moscow: Exactora Minuta :
The "bilan"
Russia's Mullet Revolution :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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