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Editorial June 28, 2002
 
Russian Markets' Paradigm Shift
By eXile Staff Browse author
 
Page 2 of 2
 
Just in case you don't believe us, we've brought along Thomas Kuhn, author of the 1962 book The Structure of Scien-tific Revolutions, in which the concept of paradigm shifts was first introduced.

Mr. Kuhn... please come out here.

So long as the tools a paradigm supplies continue to prove capable of solving the problems it defines...

Mr. Kuhn? Can you hear us?

...science moves fastest and penetrates most deeply through confident employment of those... of those... too...wells...hey, what in the hell are you doing in my paradigm?

Uh, we're sorry to bother you, Professor Kuhn, Doctor Kuhn, sir. But we're just trying to explain to our readers that there's been a paradigm shift in the valuation of the Russian stock mar-

What the hell does that have to do with me? Get outta here! Get outta my paradigm! Who the hell let you in here anyway? [Fumbles with phone.] Security! Security! Ann, would you please call security and escort these strangers away. They're trespassing on my paradigm.

[Sound of running shoes, windbreakers squeaking.]

Excuse us gentlemen, could we please see your passes for Dr. Kuhn's paradigm.

Uh, we uh-we got paradigm-shifted about six paragraphs up and we don't really know how to-

Sirs, we're going to have to ask you to leave this paradigm now. Right now.

But we just want Dr. Kuhn to tell our readers-

[Rustling, shoulders scraping, windbreakers tussling...]

Sirs, this is our last warning to leave this paradigm and shift back to your own. This isn't your paradigm. Leave now, or else Dr. Kuhn, the proprietor of this paradigm, will impose such a terrifying set of revolutionary scientific theory changes on you that you'll question your own existences.

Okay, fine. Can you tell us how to get back.

Why, that's easy. Just click your jackboots three times, and say, "Es gibt nichts wie zuhause."

Es gibt nichts wie zuhause. Es gibt nichts wie zuhause. Es gibt nichts wie zuhause. Hey! We're back. At the eXile, behind the Rasputin sex club. In Putin's Russia! Gee, it's swell to be back. And gee it's swell to see so many people making so much money. Everything is just swell.

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