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The War Nerd September 19, 2002
 
Future War: Hi-Tech Toys vs. Fanged Vermin
By Gary Brecher Browse author Email
 
Page 3 of 3
 
But these wars have a little weakness: they never solve the problem. NATO killed a few thousand Serbs too stupid to realize their fellow Christians didn't give a fuck about them. And the Serbs pulled back. But the Albanians moved in. You go into a slum like the Balkans, try to fix things up by slapping around one gang -- and the gang next door comes in, kills their families and takes their houses. It's embarrassing. From what I hear, a lot of NATO soldiers dream non-stop of the day they'll be allowed to fire on the Albanian thugs they're supposed to be protecting.

The answer is obvious: annihilation. The two-tier wars will get really annoying. How many times do you go in (and "you" could be the Chinese, the Indians, or whoever's running the show 100 years from now) and separate these drunken smalltime thugs? Sooner or later somebody will suggest the neutron-bomb option. Nothing dramatic, just a Raid commercial on a larger scale.

They'll be provoked. That's a sure thing -- before the ruling countries take the annihilation option, they will be HELL OF provoked. The lower tier will have one weapon: the willingness to die and to kill. You don't need hi-tech to kill a lot of people. You think Mohammed Atta could pass a course on jet engineering? Physics? He couldn't've got into Solano Community College, and all you need to pass there is two-thirds attendance. The loser countries, the ones who can't do math, are gonna skip shop class, skip the machine crap, and go back to basics: kill a lot of people. They'll do Columbine on a worldwide scale. All the losers will come to the lobby with guns. Serbs, North Koreans, Tamil Sri Lankans, will walk into the lobbies of the machine peoples' towers like Keanu in The Matrix. They will splatter those security guards, they will smash up the decorative marble, they will disrupt office routine with drums of gasoline and vials of pesticide and rerouted sewage floods; they will turn the cities against their citizens and kill, kill, kill.

And the upper tier will respond. They'll be patient. They'll endure the first twenty or so urban massacres in a civilized way. Then they'll think of the obvious: the Raid solution. Every pesticide commercial they ever saw will occur to them as they decide what to do with the Haitians, the Tamils...and finally somoeone in a government office in Beijing or Washington or Delhi will decide to do something permanent about the vermin. Ah yes, the Balkans: nice country. Too bad it's infested with two-legged varmints. Why not clean 'em out? It'll strike somebody as a good idea, sooner or later. And that's how we'll have our first nuclear war: not the old Cold-War scenario where two nuclear-armed nations wipe each other out, but a perfectly logical one-sided version: China, or India, or us, or whoever, will simply sterilize the Balkans. (Or Java, or the South Bronx).

It won't be pretty, or even glorious. Sorry to piss on your parade; just trying to do my job. And there's kind of a consolation: there'll be one hell of a lot of beautiful dogfight footage from all those RPV combats in the skies.

And then...well, something else, something no one will predict, will happen. And a big brand new bloody mess of a world will be born. But that will be your problem. I'll be safe on a shelf in one of Fresno's many fine crematoria, dreaming of the Thirty Years' War.

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Gary Brecher
Browse author
Email Gary at war_nerd@exile.ru, but, more importantly, buy his book.
 
 
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