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Press Review October 17, 2002
McFallow The Leader
By Philby Burgess Browse author
Page 2 of 4
"President Bush has made a strong commitment to a distinct tradition in international diplomacy by stating repeatedly that the United States has a strategic interest in regime change in Iraq."

Let me state it clearly: attributing US policy to George W. Bush is as much a lie as attributing British policy to Elizabeth II. Bush is every bit as much a figurehead as she. To say that "President Bush has made a strong commitment" to anything or anyone other than his personal trainer is simply a lie.

Let me tell you what journalists actually say about Bush, when they are off-duty. George W. Bush cares about nothing except his workout schedule, and values no one but his gym buddies. Like many a former drug-user, he has substituted an exercise addiction for his substance abuse. His eyes light up only when his handlers tell him he can go to the gym. During meetings he can be seen miming his exercise routine, content to wait until his handlers tell him where to go next and what expression to put on for the cameras.

W's other little pleasure is inventing nicknames for the men who surround him. He has trouble remembering real names, and feels more relaxed re-christening his workmates with boyish tags based on their real names or their appearance. He even has a name for President Putin: "Pootie-Poot." I'm not joking. The American press found it cute. I find it terrifying.

I'm told some of the older and more grave of his handlers resent being addressed like fraternity brothers at a kegger. But these men are in the game for profit, not fun, and they wear the mask, chuckling dutifully when addressed by their new nicknames, and waiting until their nominal master trots off to his workout to get down to business.

You can bet that McFaul, a classic Washington insider, knows all this insider info very well. But he would not dream of telling you. Instead, McFaul continues to grovel to Bush, attributing to this canine intellect a profound grasp of the historical context: "Bush has a powerful historical experience to draw upon..." George W. Bush has no "historical experience" of any event predating his fraternity initiation, and McFaul knows it damned well. By attributing reason to this reigning canine, McFaul lends his academic status to a contemptible fraud -- and to the venal colonial war Bush's handlers are bringing about.

The next lie McFaul tells is the most disgusting of all, to my mind. He accepts, or pretends to accept, the Administration's claim that it wants to bring about "regime change" so that the new Iraqi regime will have "friendlier relations with the US." McFaul knows quite well that the upcoming invasion has nothing whatsoever to do with democracy, "regime change" or the establishment of friendly relations between Iraq and America. The invasion has one simple motive: control of Iraq's oil reserves, the world's second-largest. As the New York Times just revealed (Oct. 10), there will not be even the pretense of an Iraqi regime after the US military has stormed in. Instead, there will be direct rule by the US, with General Tommy Franks as the probable Imperial Viceroy. The US will drop all neo-colonial pretense and return to direct rule, with the simple aim of extracting as much of the colony's natural resources as quickly as possible. So when McFaul says that Bush is "rightly focusing on how to promote democratic change in the Arab world," he is once again lying outright.

The Administration has hardly even bothered to hide its true, petroleum-based motives. In 2001, Dick Cheney, head of the National Energy Policy commission, made access to Persian-Gulf oil the number-one priority for the US. The quickest way to get to that oil is to take the Iraqi fields by force. With control of Iraqi oil, the US can ignore OPEC's attempt to keep oil prices high. It is, as they say in Washington, "a no-brainer." The only issue is dividing the loot. Right now, Washington is negotiating with the European powers about who gets how much of the crude when Iraq is in American hands.

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
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Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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