Mankind's only alternative 8   FEB.   23  
Mankind's only alternative

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

The War Nerd April 6, 2003
Down We Go!
By Gary Brecher Browse author Email
Page 4 of 5
Just imagine what would've happened if Clinton had screwed up this badly. Every wacko in trailerland would be calling for his head on a stick. But Bush-it's like he gets a free pass, because everybody thinks he's a big patriot or something. And he's NOT!

That's another thing I don't get--how nobody minds these guys' history of dodging the draft in the Nam era. Take Cheney: he's on record saying, "I had other priorities" while our guys were dying in Nam. How's that for attitude? He had better things to do, but I guess the 60,000 hicks, spics and blacks who went and died over there didn't.

Bush was just as bad. He got his daddy to set him up with a fake National Guard gig till the war was over. These guys are as fake as a Bangkok rolex. Bigger phonies than Clinton, because at least he didn't pretend to be a hero.

But what's the use. I've tried talking about all this in the coffee room at work and people just walk away from me. More than usual, I mean. They were polite when the invasion started because they know I know my stuff war-wise. But they decided I wasn't upbeat enough so they stopped asking me questions. Now they swerve by without stopping, like I'm the office bad-luck mascot, like it's my fault we're not winning. It's like what happened between Rumsfeld and the generals: nobody listens to the expert, because all they want is good news.

Next question: what happens now? Well, we're stuck with this war and we better win it, then cash in our chips and get the hell out. But it's going to be really ugly. We can't take the cities without killing a lot of civvies, and the population of Iraq is half kids. The Republican Guard is fighting smart this time, sticking close to the civilians and daring us to hit them anyway. And we're not tough enough to do it. We'll hammer the cities in a panic now, but after a few weeks of al-Jazeera showing screaming women in black dresses holding up dead babies, we'll get hysterical and stop.

We're not the British or the Romans, we're not consistent and cold-blooded like them. We go crazy-violent for a while, then we start sobbing "Why don't you love me?" at the people we've been blasting.

One point that might interest eXile readers in Moscow is the Russian/Serbian connection. Saddam, the dumbest strategist in history in 1991, is playing a very smart game this time around, and a lot of intelligence people think it's because he hired Russian and Serbian mercenaries to plan his defenses, along with the already-reported weapons sales. The Iraqis have definitely been basing their defense on the Russian pattern, letting the enemy push deep into the country, then hitting his flanks and supply lines while defending the key cities. Saddam has a history of buying hardware from ex-CIS countries; it's not so hard to imagine he'd buy expertise from the same places.

There's an article arguing this at a weird neo-Confederate website that was emailed to me:

If Iraq really does have Slavic advisors or mercenaries working for it, we're likely to be in for a long, hard fight. Rumsfeld and his yes-men know it, even if they deny it in public. Incredibly enough, in spite of the mess we're already in Rumsfeld's men now have a plan to attack Syria. At least it'll distract people from the mess in Iraq. It's in the pipeline already; if you listen to the news carefully, you'll hear a lot of threats from DC about how Syria is hiding Saddam's WMDs and maybe his family. As far as I can tell, it's all lies. The Syrian Ba'ath hates Saddam's Iraqi branch of the party worse than they hate Israel. The only way to change that is to scare them hard, and we're doing that pretty well already.

The truth is, until we invaded, everybody hated Saddam. Al Qaeda wouldn't touch him, the Iranians blame him for killing a whole generation of their kids, the Shiites prayed he'd kick, the Kurds wanted to discuss a few gassed towns with him-in fact, everybody loved to hate this asshole, until we invaded his country and made him a hero.

SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
Gary Brecher
Browse author
Email Gary at, but, more importantly, buy his book.
Jared, The Fortnight Spin
The Fortnight Spin :

Desperate Measures For Desperate Celebrities :

Bribe to Live, Live to Bribe : An eXile guide to who costs what in Putin's Russia
The War Nerd
Burn, Malibu, Burn! : Fire: the most effective, underused weapon in the world


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442