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Feature Story July 24, 2003
Feis The Music! Buns Moons Moscow Nightclubs
By Mark Ames Browse author Email
Page 7 of 7
The crew was starting to drift apart

and lose its discipline. Too many stragglers were intermingling and laughing with the main perpetrators like Schliefer, Johnny and Buns, destroying the star aura that had surrounded him.

It was time to leave and try one last club, the infamous Tseppelin.

Everyone returned to their cars, but just as Jeremy's Merc was about to pull out, two flatheads blocked their way and demanded that Buns pay the $200 bar tab. That's when you know your aura's gone.

Led Tseppelin

On the way to Moscow's most famous hard-to-get-into club, Schliefer repeatedly called the club manager, screaming, "Buns is coming! Buns is coming! Buns doesn't like to wait, so make sure there are no problems."

She hung up on him three or four times, and he called back three or four times. "Buns doesn't like to wait!"

Unfortunately, because the entrance is so far back from the street, there was no way to make an "entrance" with the cop car siren and the Merc.

The best we can say here is that we got Jeremy into Tseppelin. He didn't have to wait. However, most of the entourage, including one of the models and the cameramen, were denied entrance. Those stuck outside soured. It was almost five in the morning. The Mercedes was turning into a pumpkin. It was time for Buns to become Jeremy again.

Our job was done. Jeremy may have returned to earth, but Moscow's elitny nightclubs, and the feis kontrol goons that control them, will always look like the dipshit frauds we knew them to be, but had never proven in a controlled experiment.

Now we know. May they die in shame.

Crow Pie Crew

Thanks to the crew, particularly Alex Shifrin, Sam and Jason, who pitched in money and effort, Dave for keeping it together, Moe Snideman for lending vital communication equipment, legal advice and support, and the amazing acting skills of Marc Schliefer (who we'll miss now that he's left Moscow), Jeremy, Lena, Ksenia, Johnny and the film and photo crew, Chris Karle for the idea and Scandinavia's outdoor cafe for nourishing the ideas.

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