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Mankind's only alternative

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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Feature Story December 25, 2003
What a Laugh!
The eXile Looks Back on 2003, The Funniest Year Yet!
Page 7 of 17
Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

17. Mainstream Fags

The Joke: Is it a coincidence that as America becomes increasingly fundamentalist Christian, it is also becoming increasingly homosexual? No, it's not a coincidence, it's funny! New knob-goblin' TV shows like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy only increase the humorous homosexualization of mainstream America, as well as the domestication-by-lameness of once-interesting homosexual culture, helping turn America into a frantic, sexually-insane comedic kook, like one of those zany characters in a John Irving novel!

Sad Clown factor: Syphilis and other STDs among gay males on the increase since George W. Bush took power. Ouch!

Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

18. Passport to Poshlust'

The Joke: It's not easy to be the worst expat journal in Moscow, not with tough competition like Pulse, the Moscow Tribune, and El Diario Ruso around. But one new mag rose to the challenge in its first issue: Passport, whose 2003 debut featured articles on a bored rich expat lady who saves orphans, another bored rich expat lady who buys furniture, and a gushing suck-piece on Roman Abramovich, in which the author waxed lyrical on the color-scheme of Abramovich's private jet. As long as Moscow's anglophone community stays rich, bored and stupid, there's a niche for a journal as usurer-friendly as this one!

Sad Clown factor: Now LifeStyle and element are going full-color as well, meaning that the worse the writing, the more colorful the delivery.

Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

19. Feis Kontrol

The Joke: We thought 2002 was bad with the whole pafosny feis kontrol thing, especially compared to 2001, which was bad enough. Well, ho-ho-ho! Think again. 2003 has seen the whole Feis Kontrol thing spread so wide that even alcohol-drenched demokratichnie clubs started enforcing it.

Sad Clown factor: Flounder once turned away from The Boar House. Ames once denied at Real McCoy.

Extra Sad Clown factor: rude feis kontrol thug at Real McCoy was subsequently forced to grovel apologetically to Ames for his 'error.'

Side-Split Score: Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown Sad Clown

20. Buns Mcgillicuddy

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Reklama Review
Russian House Parties Are Cool Again : Is clubbing as dead as disco?
Club Review
House Party Hipsters :
Jared, The Fortnight Spin
The Fortnight Spin :

Pourquoi L'Exile :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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