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 For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog
 The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog
 A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog
 If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control
 Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control
 Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control
 The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control
 We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control
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| Feature Story |
April 16, 2004 |
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Facial Humilation
By Jake Rudnitsky
Browse author
Email
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Whether by virtue of the Chinese coat or the fact that I go there every week, we breezed through Garage's face control. Things were looking grim: three rejections do not an article make. We were drowning our sorrows in vodka tonics when, out of nowhere, salvation appeared. A babe we were talking to handed us a VIP card for what she called Moscow's newest after party club. The place was called Diamond Hall and was in, of all unlikely places, the Rossiya Hotel. It was too tempting to pass up. By now it was after six, and the cards said the club works from six to two in the afternoon. We were drunk, but not vulgarly so. Amazingly, we seemed to have stumbled on some sort of hotspot; car after car of people pulled up and groups were waiting by the door, eager to drop 400 rubles for the cover. at six AM! Most of them had a pre-crisis look about them -- flatheads and extravagantly painted hot girls -- but the place was happening. Some of them were getting turned away. Even an expensive dive in the Rossiya that didn't open 'til six has face control these days. We tried rushing the gates, but the art director was onto us. We tried flashing the cards, but he didn't know us, so we weren't going anywhere. We namedropped the girl who'd told us about it (although at Garage, there's a good chance she was a whore who'd given us a fake name). Nothing. Other, In people streamed by us.
You'd think we'd feel grateful that this guy kept us out of what was bound to be an overpriced, cheesy club. But that's not how getting feised works. Watching some monkey exercise power over you hurts, there's no denying it. No matter how you try to rationalize how much more worthy, intelligent, worldly, or sophisticated you are, getting denied gets your blood up. Even a system as transparent and self-defeating as Moscow's face control -- what objections could a club possibly have against you spending money there? -- manages one thing well: it humiliates. And that, ultimately, is why Russians have latched onto face control like nowhere else on earth. Like an abused woman, they've reached a point where they've started to enjoy it, and couldn't imagine life any other way.
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| FROM THE VAULT |
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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.
Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."
Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.
Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.
Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.
The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.
Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.
13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...
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