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The War Nerd |
September 4, 2004 |
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Shi'ite! Holy Shi'ite!
By Gary Brecher
Browse author
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And these are the people we're picking off one by one, then bragging about body counts. Still wonder why the war's going so badly? At the moment, Sadr and the Mahdi-ettes are withdrawing, and Bush's PR guys are claiming Sadr's going into politics to play nice. You have to wonder if they really believe that. I hope not; I hope they're not really that dumb. Any guerrilla war has lulls, slowdowns, little coffee breaks that last a week, a month, sometimes years. It doesn't mean the war's over. The VC used to go home when it was time to harvest the rice crop; every time they did, the Saigon PR office would declare that the insurgency was beaten. Sadr and his boys are going to work us the way you work a can lid: back and forth, over and over, sheer metal fatigue. They've got a whole new crop of martyrs to worship, and all they have to do is wait for another policy mistake to outrage all their followers. One thing you can be sure of, if you're an Iraqi Shiite: outrages are like buses, there'll always be another one coming along. When it arrives, they'll get on board, fight us again, lose again, win the propaganda battle again, and come back a little stronger, with more of the Shi'ite poor on their side. After a half dozen lost battles, they'll be so strong we'll be glad to catch the last chopper out of Najaf and let'em martyr each other, instead of paying hundreds of billions of my tax money to be their Santa-Claus bogeyman.
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FROM THE VAULT |
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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.
Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."
Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.
Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.
Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.
The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.
Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.
13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...
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