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The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
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Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
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Kino Korner March 24, 2006
Kino Kweekez
By Alex Shifrin Browse author Email

Everything Is Illuminated

What They Say: Based on the novel of the same name, the film tells the story of a third generation Ukrainian Jew who returns to his home village in search of any survivors after a Nazi cleansing during WWII. For all our German friends out there, this is a guilt free production, so it's totally German-grandparent-friendly viewing.

What We Say: One of the better films we've seen in days. Wood, who's a hairy, barefooted freak in the Tolkien trilogy, a role that has put him on our shitlist for the remainder of his career, has managed to somehow earn back a bit of our respect with this performance If he keeps this up, we just may reconsider our firm stance. Far more entertaining if you're fluent in Russian, which we are. Are you?

The Lowdown: Motorcycle Diaries meets The Pianist by way of some Central European movie we can't put our finger on.

Best Bit: Eugene Hutz creatively translates his grandfather's anti-Semitic Russian mat for Wood.

Starring:Elijah Wood, Eugene Hutz, Boris Leskin.


Playing:Pirate kiosks.

Good Night And Good Luck

What They Say: Directed by George Clooney, Good Night and Good Luck is a docu-drama about Edward R. Murrow's prolonged struggle with commie crazed US Senator Joseph McCarthy --  you know, the creep who was recently eulogized by liberal-crazed columnist Ann Couluter. Filmed in black and white, so heaps of under-employed liberal arts intellectuals will get erect nipples, stretching their piercings, as soon as the theatre curtains are drawn.

What We Say: This is the year Clooney changes his profile from scruffy, heartthrob actor to scruffy heartthrob director. Now, when Clooney does his patronizing pause, followed by an insightful smirk before answering any questions, more people will lean in to listen. Oh Georgie, you've come a long way, baby. He's not as compelling as in Syriana here, and all those hard-boiled-voiced early-50s characters can be annoying, but the movie was made with a clear purpose: to remind America of what a bunch of cowards the major media is today, operating under a similar hysteria, compared to their straighter, but tougher forefathers in the early TV years.

The Lowdown: Talk Radio meets Reds by way of The Insider times Network.

Best Bit: Clooney casting himself as one of the lead roles.

Starring:David Strathairn, Robert Downey Jr., Patricia Clarkson, Frank Langella, Jeff Daniels, George Clooney.

Rating:: 4/5

Playing:35MM, Dome

Pink Panther

What They Say: Steve Martin exhumes and commits necrophilia on

What We Say: We tried three times to finish this DVD, to no avail. Watching this film was sort of like being stuck in an uncomfortable conversation with someone who keeps telling poorly timed and generally awkward jokes, yet you're too polite to do anything but feign a chuckle. Peter Sellers' Clousseau, while clumsy and awkward, was able to succeed as a result of some basic intuitive talents --  that is, the talent for slapstick and totally unselfconscious buffoonery. Martin's Clousseau is a functionally retarded buffoon, with a silly accent, and we're not talking about the fun kind of silly. Flat-silly.

The Lowdown: Rain Man meets The French Connection to the Police Academy-4th power.

Best Bit: Realizing that my "eject" button on my DVD player works

Starring:Steve Martin, Kevin Kline, BeyoncI Knowles, Jean Reno.

Rating:: 0/5

Playing:Russian theatres.

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The World's Biggest (and Smallest) Crash-Test Site : From the people that brought you anti-matter

Slaves Of The Sadovoe Koltso :

John McCain Is: The Gook Hunter : A movie poster
Get Your Putin On!
Get Your Putin On! : More high fives from Kremlin's inner circle


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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