Mankind's only alternative 17   OCT.   18  
Mankind's only alternative
Welcome
MAIN  RUSSIA  WAR NERD   [SIC!]  BAR-DAK  THE VAULT  ABOUT US  RSS
 
 
EXILE BLOGS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Whore-R Stories May 19, 2006
 
The Red Scare
By Abram Magomedov Browse author
 
 

ST. PETERSBURG -- I called a small brothel a friend of mine from Piter recommended. It's in a small apartment in the center of St. Petersburg.

"I'm warming up the sauna right now and there are five beautiful girls awaiting your arrival. There is nobody else here right now, so don't waste time, just get over here," a girl told me over the telephone. Her voice was as chipper as an American secretary on Prozac. The upbeat attitude surprised me, but it helped sell me on the brothel.

My friend Alex and I arrive, enter, take off our shoes and put on tapachki from a tapachki rack. We're taken to one of the apartment's bedrooms. The girls are ushered in one by one. They call out their names, turn 360 degrees and walk out five in all, as promised. But not all five are as beautiful as the girl promised. Alex gets the hottest of the bunch: Sasha, a thirty-one year old with a tight model's body. I wasn't sure who to go for, the rest are all equally mediocre.

[From this point we turn to an unedited transcript captured by Abram's cellphone voice memo recorder.]

Me: Hold on. Let me see if this thing is recording.

Alex: The chubby one's selling her self real well. She looks like she would be fun. [The madame comes in.]

Madame: Nu chto, which girls appealed to you?

Me: (To Alex) Yeah, you're probably right. (To madame) I'll go with Katya... right? (To Alex) What was her name?

Alex: (To madame) The chubby one is Katya, right?

Madame: Yes, that's Katya.

Alex: And I'll go with Sasha.

Madame: Khorosho. That'll be 1,800 rubles for the first hour, for each of you.

Me: And if we want to prolong?

Mistress: Then it's 1,000 each for each additional hour. [We give her the cash.] Would you like some beer, tea, champagne?

Me: No thanks, just the girls.

Mistress: They'll be in in a minute- (Static. Recording missing.)

Alex: We tell them who we are, right?

Me: Just be natural. Don't tell them too much about yourself (Static. Recording missing.)

Alex: Remember, it's my first one.

Me: I know (Static. Recording missing.)

Me: Don't worry, she'll know what to do. She does this for a living.

Sasha: [Comes in with a tube of lubricant, two condoms and a pack of cigarettes.] Brrr, it's so cold. Oi! Why are you wearing sunglasses?

Me: Why not?

Sasha: I don't know, it's not intimate.

Me: That's just his style.

Sasha: Da, da. [Turns on the radio, dance music starts playing in the background.]

Katya: [Comes in, also with a couple of condoms and a tube of lube and curls up on a La-Z-Boy] What station did you turn it to?

Sasha: Don't know. I caught what I caught.

Alex: Let's get some champagne.

Katya: You want to have a real celebration (Laughter breaks up the recording.)

Sasha: Are you going to have the champagne too? Should I bring you two glasses?

Me: Of course. [She leaves; her heels sound on the parquet.]

Me: (To Katya) Why is the place so empty tonight?

Katya: Empty?

Me: Da.

Katya: It's a holiday.


SHARE:  Del.icio.us  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
 
 
FROM THE VAULT

The Fortnight Spin :

The Man Who Would Be Orange : Filthy and Freezing on the Moldovan Campaign Trail

A Terror Odyssey 2001: THE EXILE LIST OF TERROR SUSPECTS :
Death Pron
Death Porn: DP Potpourri : Who’s getting killed, and how?
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442
E-mail: office@exile.ru