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Vlad's Daily Gloat - The eXile Blog

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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Kino Korner September 22, 2006
Kino Kwikeez
By Alex Shifrin Browse author Email

Snakes On A Plane

What They Say: The result of focus group product testing, Snakes on a Plane is the much hyped film which answered some production research exec's assignment question: What are two things that people fear the most these day? Well, that would be crashing airplanes and snakes. Mix the two together and BLAMO, you have Snakes on a Plane.

What We Say: Great Internet hype, exploiting Samuel "Mother Fucking" Jackson's trademark elevated-tone belligerence. The film, as would be expected from most hype jobs of this sort, was mediocre. Don't be fooled by critics gushing to call this a "thrilling ride" or "spectacular." That's just something that they do to get their reviews reprinted on DVD boxes. Whores.

The Lowdown: Airport 77 meets National Geographic.

Best Bit: The stuff on the Internet.

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Julianna Margulies, Nathan Phillips, Rachel Blanchard, Flex Alexander.

Rating:: 2/5

Playing: Pirate kiosks

Guy X

What They Say: Pie sodomizing Jason Biggs plays a US soldier accidentally stationed in Greenland during the late 1970's. Initially believing that his erroneous posting would be nothing more than sheer tedium, the pastry-bonker quickly realizes that something's not right.

What We Say: If you can get past the fact that this was essentially a post-Vietnam war film about absolutely nothing, then it's somewhat enjoyable. Spooky CIA medical experiment type of stuff and Biggs' typical awkward teen antics a plenty.

The Lowdown: Jacob's Ladder meets Seinfeld.

Best Bit: Watching Biggs become a "serious" comedian.

Starring: Jason Biggs, Natascha McElhone, Jeremy Northam, Michael Ironside, Sean Tucker.

Rating:: 4/5

Playing: Pirate kiosks

Clerks 2

What They Say: It's a few years later, and our beloved variety shop has burned down. The boys are now Dante and Randall are now working in a big commercial burger joint, with Dante planning on escaping to Florida with his trophy bride-to-be.

What We Say: Surprisingly good, considering that we'd expect Kevin Smith to be making sellout fluff, tested and adjusted to fit the ideal Gen X demographic. Way to go Kev!

The Lowdown: Clerks, all over again.

Best Bit: The ongoing inside jokes about closet homosexuality. Yes Kevin, we get it.

Starring: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Rosario Dawson, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Trevor Fehrman, Jason Lee, Ben Affleck.

Rating:: 4/5

Playing: Pirate kiosks

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Get With The Pogrom :
Pedophile DP
The DP That Could’ve : August isn’t hot just for us normals, it affects the pedophile murderin’ types, too.


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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