Mankind's only alternative 17   JAN.   22  
Mankind's only alternative
Vlad's Daily Gloat - The eXile Blog
MAIN  RUSSIA  WAR NERD   [SIC!]  BAR-DAK  THE VAULT  ABOUT US  RSS
 
 
EXILE BLOGS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Unfiled December 1, 2006
 
New Year’s Massacre
Junkie's Journal By Vlad Impaler Browse author
 
 

The New Year is getting near and everything seems so pretty and nice, doesn't it? People here completely ignore Christmas, but there's no chance in hell they're gonna skip the New Year's Eve party. On December 31st, all of the grownups are trying as hard as possible to stay sober, all their attention on their TV sets, when they're waiting impatiently for President and Primadonna (Alla Pugacheva) to wish them "Happy New Year"... It's all pretty disgusting, but we're used to it here. Everybody's hoping for a miracle to come on New Year's Night. And sometimes miracles happen...

A couple of years back I was completely broke. I still am, but then... I was lost in the horrible, I mean REALLY horrible pain of heroin withdrawals. It was the third day that was the worst of all. It was also New Year's Eve, and there was no chance I could score. I lost all my credit in this damn city. No one would spot me anything, especially after everyone heard about how I'd ripped off this one harmless gay dude named Victor.

But that's not the point here. The point is it was fucking New Year's Eve and I was dying. Literally. I was choking on my own puke, which was all over my clothes and my mattress. Rumors about me stabbing this pusher/fag with a sharpened screwdriver had spread like a highly-communicable disease.

Two days earlier, when the withdrawals were still nearly-manageable, I had my last conversation with my ex-girlfriend, Ksyu, who shared her apartment with a pair of a small time dealers whom I was in debt to. I owed money to everyone I knew. The fucking cramps were unbearable... "We reached the point of stability in Russia"... "It was a really difficult year for all us..." Sick. "As President I'd like to wish all of the Russian citizens..." Death. "Let's raise our glasses..." Puke. Shit. Death. Mom. Dad. Then I lost consciousness for some time, thank God...

I opened my eyes and instant fire pierced my eyeballs. I gotta do something, I thought. The idea of throwing myself on the metro rails was getting more and more appealing. I was really desperate. So much that I dialed my ex-girlfriend Ksu one more time. She was my last hope. We had some beautiful times together. All I got was her damn answering machine...

I realized it was past midnight because I heard the fireworks tearing the winter sky into shreds. "Please, God don't let me go insane!" I thought for the thousandth time. I had never felt so desperately lost and hopeless. I mean I sure as hell deserved every bit of this suffering for my stupid behavior, but at the same time I was praying for a miracle. Then a couple of hours into the New Year I made up my mind. I had to act.

I picked up a thin and sharp kitchen knife and scrutinized it for a moment. The blade was thin and pretty sharp as well. I had stop this pain by any possible means.

Suddenly the phone rang. I picked up the telephone, looking at the blade in my hand, feeling dizzy and weak. Even the cold plastic of the receiver made me shiver. It was Ksyu calling me back.

"Hey. Leave me alone, will you?" her voice was hoarse.

I could bet my sorry ass she was high on IT. Exactly what I needed.

I clenched my teeth. "Happy New Year, baby," I croaked, trying hard not to puke, knowing it was my last chance to get the cure. I didn't want to let her go, even though it hurt just to keep talking. "Look, Ksyu, honey, I've got a friend of mine here and she's got money," I said. I used all my strength to make my voice sound as casual as I could. "We're going to a big party and we thought of getting some stuff for tonight. I called you so many times today 'cos I wanted invite you to join me..."

I was completely full of shit. But I had to make her to come to me with the gear, no matter what it took. Otherwise I was sure I'd die by the next morning. I pimped her hard. Finally I cracked her.

"Ok. I'll take a taxi to your place," she said and hung up.

Great. She's coming over. Now I had to come up with a way of getting ahold of her smack before she figured out I wasn't going to pay her. I knew it would be tricky. Usually dealers carry the gear in their mouths wrapped in a little baggie, and just swallow the stuff if stopped by the cops. Or a mugger (like myself).

I knew she'd be angy when she found out the truth -- that I have no money, and I was just using her to score some smack. I thought, "I could threaten her with a knife, but if she swallows the shit I'm fucked."

I touched the blade with my finger. If she swallowed it, I thought, I'd have to cut through her throat before it dropped down into her stomach. I'd have to be quick. But then I realized, even if I cut through her throat and didn't find the baggie, I could just cut open her belly and look around for the smack. I had to prepare for this possibility. So I collected all the plastic bags that were in the apartment and placed them on the floor, preparing for the worst case scenario. I didn't want to make too much of a mess if I had to do that.

I think I passed out again for some time 'cos the sound of the doorbell came as a shock. My knees were shaking. I picked up the knife from the floor and went to meet her at the door...

She walked in. I carefully locked the door behind her and put the key to the door in my pants' pocket.

"Damn, you look like zombie, rabbit!" she greeted me playfully.

"Did you bring IT?" I asked feeling the cold blade, which I'd hidden inside the of my Adidas jacket which I'd wrapped around it before opening the front door.

"Sure. But show me the money first," Ksyu said.

That's when I took the knife out, praying only for her not to swallow the stuff. Her eyes popped out when I pressed the blade against her throat. And then she started screaming...But she coughed it out.

"You're a bastard, you know that?"

Her body was hot and covered with a thin layer of sweat on her flat stomach. Later, as we were laying on my mattress naked. I was blankly staring at the ceiling, saying nothing. My body and my brain were being caressed by the soft, warm waves of the opiate euphoria.

"You're fucked up," she sad. "I heard about you stabbing that guy Victor. I also heard that his mother called the cops. I knew you're a fucking psycho but I'd never imagine you'd want to do any harm to ME! Damn! And your dead eyes... That's just fucked up! You gotta sort yourself out..."

She kept talking and talking but I wasn't listening. Slowly I was sliding into sweet unconsciousness. Then I heard my own voice saying something about miracles and Happy New Year to everyone...

SHARE:  Del.icio.us  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
 
 
FROM THE VAULT
Get Your Putin On!
Get Your Putin On! : More high fives from Kremlin's inner circle

Russian Academia Under Fire :
ComiX
Get Your Putin On :
War Nerd - Japanese Victory
Russia's Other Great Victory : How the Japs got served with the 3,000-mile long Stalin Roll combo
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442
E-mail: office@exile.ru