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The War Nerd June 1, 2007
No Paper Tigers
Q: Why Did The Tamil Cross The Road? A: To Kill The Other Side By Gary Brecher Browse author Email
Page 3 of 3

Apparently the Sri Lankan authorities haven't heard about GPS, because they imposed a total blackout on Columbo after the LTTE air raids. Naturally, this had no effect at all on the attacking planes, which dropped their bombs on target anyway. The only effect, and it was a big one, was on every business in the city - total write-off for the duration of the blackout and business way down for days afterward. So here again, the authorities end up turning a tactically ineffective attack into a huge strategic victory.

The biggest effect of this "joke" attack is what's really got the general pissed off: the fact that it makes a joke out of all the government propaganda about the LTTE being on its knees, about to surrender, etc. The current Sri Lankan PM is a populist Sinhalese who had the hicks down south in Galle actually believing he had the LTTE on the run and could find a military solution to the war. With a few prop planes and primitive gravity bombs, the LTTE managed to make that claim look ridiculous. That's the kind of "joke" that wins wars - and it's no use you hardware snobs saying it doesn't matter.

That's the same argument guys use when they say, "Tet '68 was a victory for the U.S.!" No, it wasn't. We killed way more of them than they did of us, true; we held all the cities (except Hue, for a Hwile) - but it convinced the home crowd the Army's PR on Nam was all a lie, and there was no hope for the long term. That, boys, is not a victory. Or a "joke" - although there are some pretty good laughs along the way.

Now those are belts: Proud Tamil officers.

Say "Paneer!"

The planes that humiliated the SLAF.

Sharing a laugh before the bombing run.

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Gary Brecher
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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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