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Club Review July 13, 2007
Katz 2 U: I'll B Back...
By Yasha Levine Browse author Email

Last week, Hannah Katz temporarily resigned as The eXile's official club reviewer. We are sorry to report that our friend and colleague was diagnosed with a serious illness. This was a month ago, but, Hannah being Hannah, she didn't say a word to any of us until the day after she arrived in LA. Hannah made us promise not to say anything until she was ready to come out with it herself. Normally, we would have gone ahead and spilled the beans just to spite her. But this time we're attempting to maintain a bit of decorum and tact. Hannah, by this gesture, you know our hearts go out to you. At Hannah's request we are reprinting the email she sent us after getting home a few days ago. We wish her a speedy recovery and hope she is back in Moscow soon.

Hi you guys,

I now yall are worried about me there. But now I'm safe and sound at my parents house in LA resting up. Tomorrow, I'm checking into the hospital for observation. I know that's gonna be boring as shit. I gotta say, that thing that they found is pissing me off more than it's freaking me out. I know most people would be shitting their pants right now and would be wrapped up in pessimism and thinking about the worst, but I'm just bummed that I can't live my life like I want to because of this "problem." More than anything, I'm pissed that I had to fly out on the very day of the eXile party. I mean, I put so much freakin work into it and you guys didn't do squat and got to enjoy all the fun stuff and drinking and fucking anyway. Not that I would have been allowed to do any of it. Doctor's orders! Blah blah blah. You guys are lucky bastards. For the first time ever, I'll admit, I'm jealous.

Anyway, like I said, please print this in my regular column with whatever other crap you put in there. Why else would I have labored to capitalize and punctuate? How was that club Solyanka that I was supposed to go to? Actually, I don't care. I'm sure your new club reviewer will do a thoroughly shitty job.

Don't think you've seen the last of me.


The day after The eXile's Xth anniversary party at 16 Tons, which filled up to capacity (including Hannah's spirit) with eager freeloaders as early as 9 p.m. and raged on until somewhere around 3 or 4 a.m. - we're not sure which, I stopped by a new club on Solyanka in Kitay Gorod called SOLYANKA. The place is running in a "pre-opening" mode and the promoters don't want the press to write anything about them until the club officially opens in September. I say, Fuck it. We're gonna get a head start on our competition and, if anything, the place is worth a brief mention.

Basically, Solyanka is an elitny indie club, a cross between Krizis Zhanra, Propoganda, and the uber-elitny, but non-pafosny Krisha. Unlike Krisha or Propka, you don't have to be flaming or own a Bently to get in. What's more, the drinks are actually affordable (a shot of Jack cost 200r). But the lax face control won't last long. Once the club opens up in September, the management is planning on tightening the screws. Solyanka has annoyingly decided to go back to the 90s practice of charging for entrance. Once I shouldered my way through the large crowd gathered outside face control and paid 300r to get in, I found the club crammed with hot young overly indie'd-out dyevs. Was it worth the price? Probably. But I didn't stick around to find out. I was on day two of my Terp trip and was turning into a hoarse-voiced zombie. I had to ditch out. But I'll be back.

In the meantime, The eXile is looking for a new club reviewer. If you have a fresh, young liver you'd like to donate to the eXile cause, contact us at

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Browse author
Yasha Levine is an editor at The eXile. You can contact him at

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
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We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

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Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

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Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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