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Mankind's only alternative

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Moscow Babylon
February 26, 2008
Kosovo Madness: Get Me Outta Here!

Mark Ames spends 2 months in post-war Kosovo and wants to burn the whole place down...
March 7, 2006
Prime Time Robbery

I was robbed last week. What happened was I went into a "Prime" sandwich shop on Ulitsa Maroseika to get some lunch.
January 27, 2006
The HIV Torture Test

The harrowing tale of taking a mandatory HIV test in a rundown Tenderloin clinic...
November 13, 2004
Gas Middle America

Mark Ames has the solution to the Red-State/Blue-State electoral divide in America. But it ain't perty...
October 2, 2003
A Harlot High and Low… and Lower

Will Ames rescue the ho with the heart of gold? Or are ho's just regular folks like you and me, working a bum job?
October 17, 2002
Chemoterapy Chic

Alla was the best looking girl at the private model show at Morris U. Snideman's 50th birthday party...
August 23, 2002
Rememberances Of Bonghits Past

Much of my behavior over the past eight years has been driven by the belief that if I just accumulate enough good memories, somehow it will even things out with death...
August 8, 2002
A Piece Of Kelly's Mind

Ames visits Rome, meets dumped American chick.
July 25, 2002
Chicken McShitlets

The American press has uniformly glossed over what the Russian side says is root of the problem: American chickens are a hazard to human health.
June 28, 2002
Stories for the Waterboy

A respectable Russian businessman beats, shaves whore, ends up paying $30.000 in settlement.

Mai Tai, or Yours? Tiki Bar Diving in Moscow :

59 Reasons Not to Kill Yourself! :
Feature Story
The Kremlin’s Clan Warfare: The Putin Era Ends :

Moscow Nitelife Roundup :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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