|Vlad's Daily Gloat|
Vlad's Daily Gloat
For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
This hopped-up "Kopeika" Lada shows off its rubber-burning power to an awed provincial audience...
Why does this woman wear her shiner...
VLAD'S DAILY GLOAT
To Russians, growing richer and more powerful every day, America looks like a new Mexico, where everything is dirt cheap, companies can be bought for kopeks on the Ruble. According to Reuters, American blue collar steel workers are new wetbacks for Russian billionaires:
MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russia's steel elite, with cash to burn from record profits, has accumulated almost 10 percent of U.S. steelmaking capacity as it bets big that demand in the world's largest economy will ride out a global credit crunch.
Billionaires who built their fortune on Soviet-era steel giants have spent nearly $9 billion in the last few years acquiring U.S. mills to expand their global presence. At today's knockdown prices, investors believe it's a gamble worth taking.
"They're buying them because they're cheap. The underlying motive behind buying these mills is making money, not enhancing the political glory of Russia," said Tim McCutcheon, a partner and fund manager at DBM Capital Partners in Moscow.
"How the world has changed!" said Jack Dzierwa, global strategist at Texas-based U.S. Global Investors Inc.
"In the 1990s, Russia was a laughing stock, but its muscles have grown and the country has gone on an acquisition spree," said Dzierwa.
AMERICAN STEELWORKERS: SAVED BY RUSSIAN BILLIONAIRES
Poor wetback American monkeys now must take orders from Russian lords, do as Russian lords tell them to, work for Russian overlords, bow to the Russian masters and kiss Russian ass. That's sad, but hey, it's what happens when you are the loser of the world.
Good news in Russia continues. Oil rose to $107 per barrel, and gasoline in America reached new record high price -- that's in pathetic dollars, not in a real currency like Rubles. Poor Americans barely afford gasoline, paying up the butt to the Russian masters, who take the gasoline money, then buy cheap American companies, and now are lords over American workers, who still must pay more for gasoline, so that more American companies can be sold for cheap to Russian lords. You really are a dumbshit losers, Americans!
Meanwhile, today RTS index rose again above 2100 level, putting it closer to record territory. Also, while Americows continue growing more fat and disgusting, our Russian girls get more beautiful, and we not ashamed of our President Putin, as Americans are so ashamed of Dumbfucker Bush.
UNDERWEAR READS: "VOVA [PUTIN] I'M WITH YOU!"
TYPICALLY FIT RUSSIAN BABE
What about in United States of Losers? It's pretty sad there, actually. The empire collapses so fast, desperation is spreading like a plague. One man reported stealing Pizza Hut pizza pans to sell for scrap. Another American mother and her son was busted for stealing food from a church refrigerator! Even supposedly rich Americans are becoming homeless bumzhi:
The U.S. housing crisis has come to McMansion country.
Just as the foreclosure crisis has hollowed out poorer neighborhoods, "for sale" signs are sprouting in upscale developments so new they don't show up on GPS navigation screens.
ANOTHER POOR AMERICAN, PHILANA SKEENS, HAS TO STEAL FOOD FROM A CHURCH BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T HAVE A RUSSIAN LORD TO PAY HER REAL WAGES
It's so sad to be American today, thank god Russian lords have the charity to come in and save their shit companies, keep their incompetent lazy American workers employed. However you must know, Americans, you will not get a free lunch. When you work for a Russian master, you cannot be lazy piece of shit, like you usually are. You will have to work, if you want your pay from us. Losers.
Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.
Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."
Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.
Clubbing Adventures Through Time
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.
The Fortnight Spin
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.
13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...