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Mankind's only alternative
Vlad's Daily Gloat - The eXile Blog

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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Columbine's Most Wanted
For the 7th anniversary of the Columbine massacre, we're putting one of the jock assholes who tortured Klebold and Harris on our Most Wanted List...and you can help bring him to justice... T his issue is printing up on April 20th. For over 50 years this day was notorious as the anniversary...

Modified: 2006-04-21
Columbine Death Threat
Most people woke up on January 1st with a hangover. I woke up to a death threat, sent to me by the Columbine M ost people woke up on January 1st with a hangover. I woke up to a death threat, sent to me by the Columbine bully who inspired the most notorious school massacre of our time. Or would have, if I'd read the email the day it was sent. A little...

Modified: 2007-01-26
Virginia Tech Foretold
... school since. And so have strange char-acters - a clown was denied his request to perform for the students shortly after the shooting, but he was discovered later in the cafeteria performing magic tricks for the students before he was escorted out. At Columbine, where new anti-bullying rules were introduced, student Aaron Brown, a freshman at the time of the shootings, said, "Things were better at Columbine, as far as how people treated one another. At least, that's how it was for the first month...

Modified: 2007-05-04
Readers Write Assinine Letters!
Columbine's infamous bully Rocky Hoffschneider writes Ames another love letter, thanking him for being such a good sport... [sic] Of The Week! I AM GLASS-NECK Hi buddy, I was happy to see you corrected your fuck up on the exile, confusing my brother...

Modified: 2007-02-08
... depression, Nader bragged that his followers are "trim and take care of themselves." But much of the venom is spent on obviously-fake concerns, such as the fake populism of Powers, which he also leveled at Moore in his 2002 review of Bowling for Columbine : "One of the mosquito-bite irritations of being on the left is finding your ideals represented in public by Michael Moore, whose ball cap, burgeoning belly and self-promoting populism have made him an international brand name. When his...

Modified: 2004-07-08
Northern Ill. University Massacre: A Story of Bleakness & Madness
... schoolyards, and middle-class kids started massacring their fellow students. How could there be so much vicious rage in what are supposed to be the most idyllic years of an American kids' life? Privately, in the safe anonymous world of the Internet, the Columbine killers have since become heroes to untold numbers of America's kids, just as they'd set out to do. Like so many terrorists and insurgents, Columbine killers Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold planned and executed a suicide mission that they hoped...

Modified: 2008-02-20
Going Postal
... act was monstrous, but he was not a monster, as his friends and family can attest." ANOREXIC ANDY "There's a lot of hate around here." -Gentry Robler, Santana High sophomore The Santee rage massacre took place less than two years after Columbine, and this time, thanks in part to the pathetic figure of Andy Williams, people started to seriously consider the role bullying might have played. But there was resistance. In the immediate aftermath, Santana High School officials and local law...

Modified: 2005-11-04
Steinhaeuser Uber Alles
... doesn't have to justify murder to say this. No one says that Nat Turner's victims deserved to die, but they certainly say that his uprising, and his massacres of scores of innocent whites and slaves, made sense. Will they say that about Steinhaeuser, or Columbine, or Paducah? That they made sense? That they were JUSTIFIED? Not likely, not outside of anonymous net forums anyway. The Steinhaeuser massacre was played out yet again early this week when a Bosnian Serb blasted a pair of tormenting teachers...

Modified: 2002-05-01
... See Shi'ite drive car fast at American Humvee. See Shi'ite smile as his car blows up. Now, do we understand what a Shi'ite is, or should we sing a song too?" [SIC]BURBIA Ames, you're absolutely right. Suburbs create very damaged people. You. The Columbine kids... George Dear George, What's so damaged about the Columbine kids? They seemed like good ol' American go-getters to us. If you will it, dude, it is no dream. ON THE "R"OAD Ames, Enjoyed your piece on your American suburban...

Modified: 2004-09-17
... See Shi'ite drive car fast at American Humvee. See Shi'ite smile as his car blows up. Now, do we understand what a Shi'ite is, or should we sing a song too?" [SIC]BURBIA Ames, you're absolutely right. Suburbs create very damaged people. You. The Columbine kids... George Dear George, What's so damaged about the Columbine kids? They seemed like good ol' American go-getters to us. If you will it, dude, it is no dream. ON THE "R"OAD Ames, Enjoyed your piece on your American suburban...

Modified: 2004-09-04
The Kim and I
... kidnapped beauty queens-a full-time job for the busy Mister K! But Kim has apparently tired of Asian starlets. The CIA believes Kim's deepest desires are for "Hollywood babes." Experts fear a sulky, horny Kim will unleash "...another Columbine, only with nukes" So-Hollywood rides to the rescue! "Project K" plans to recruit a "shopping list" of the waif-like starlets Kim most desires. Wynona Ryder is at the top of the list of "Kim's Angels" according...

Modified: 2003-01-22
The HIV Torture Test
... after sleeping with her for years. Dworkin was right: God hates women. And gay men. You were never in any danger, Ames. It's all lies." Mark Ames' most recent book is Going Postal: Rage, Murder and Rebellion from Reagan's Workplaces to Clinton's Columbine and Beyond (Soft Skull Press). 2140 Normal

Modified: 2006-01-27
Pirates Not Dead
... explosive necklaces soldered onto their necks. There are no punches pulled here, no Christian epiphanies like you might have in a Hollywood version: it's Lord of the Flies meets Doom for sheer goriness. It would certainly take the wind out of the whole Columbine school shooting fad. There's something deeply satisfying and sexy watching 14-year-old Japanese kids goring each other -- such as the scene of the cute girl whose necklace is detonated by the teacher, nearly severing her head at the neck, sending...

Modified: 2003-10-02
Your Letters
... Ortega's face all you want, since he's a big-shot media guy, but please don't scratch ours. RIK THE DIK Dear Mark, Hi from London; we haven't met but I've read your Guardian pieces, your excellent 'Going Postal', which I've used in a paper on Moore's Columbine. Mark, I'd be grateful if you'd help me locate film/videos/newsreel that covers the events Limonov reported in: and generally the 'fall of Yeltsin'. Best regards. Rik Dear Mr. Rik, We've got a lot of...

Modified: 2007-06-29
Future War: Hi-Tech Toys vs. Fanged Vermin
... couldn't've got into Solano Community College, and all you need to pass there is two-thirds attendance. The loser countries, the ones who can't do math, are gonna skip shop class, skip the machine crap, and go back to basics: kill a lot of people. They'll do Columbine on a worldwide scale. All the losers will come to the lobby with guns. Serbs, North Koreans, Tamil Sri Lankans, will walk into the lobbies of the machine peoples' towers like Keanu in The Matrix. They will splatter those security guards, they...

Modified: 2002-09-19
Gangs Of Shite
... panic every few weeks. I'm afraid that this is what cinema in the Bush Era is going to be like. As far as I can tell there was only one really great movie in 2002, the kind of movie that shifts the mind's plates, and that is Michael Moore's Bowling For Columbine. The Academy could not ignore it in the Best Documentary category for the simple reason that it's the highest grossing doc ever produced, and you know what they say about money in Hollywood. Bowling is that rarest of movies in the Bush era:...

Modified: 2003-03-20
Your Letters
... truly, Lasse Huuhka Tampere, Finland Dear Mr. Huuka, Are you the same sort of jerk who told little kids that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny aren't real? We'd spend a little more time ripping on you chukhontsi but for the fact that one of your own went Columbine on his school, showing that there's still a bit of spark left in the creaky ol' Urgic after all. BRAZILIAN PEDANT Hi Gary, as one of your Brazilian readers, I'm very happy you finally remembered the War of the Triple Alliance (aka "The...

Modified: 2008-02-08
Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
... to “discuss business” or to “make a deal”; Ames and Levine join Planeta Fitness, begin new lives. September 2006: Bankruptcy Threat #3 Exile bankrupt and in debt and arrears; staff defects. January 2007: Death Threat Notorious Columbine High bully-turned-Ultimate Fighter "Rocky" Wayne Hoffschneider sends email to Ames threatening him and his family, telling Ames, " you will know first hand how truly fucked up I am." January 2007: Reorganizational Threat...

Modified: 2008-06-02
How Dick Cheney Got His Cold War On
... this is a struggle between two short, balding, bloodless men, and the oil - other people's oil - that made them as powerful as they are today. Mark Ames is the author of Going Postal: Rage, Murder and Rebellion: From Reagan's Workplaces to Clinton's Columbine and Beyond (Soft Skull) 2159 A Cold War Timetable Normal

Modified: 2006-05-19
Too Fast Times
... spent most of every day breezily making the rounds in the school, pruning his wisecracking cool-guy rep. 666 was like a little oasis, a little island of normalcy where the kids did not even know to be as screwed up as the self-conscious Americans of the Columbine generation. You read a lot of stories lately about how things are getting better in Russia, and various ivory-tower publications like the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times have trotted out neat little bundles of macroeconomic statistics...

Modified: 2002-03-06
What a Laugh!
... they don't even know that their dollar has collapsed, and don't care anyway. Side-Split Score: 16. Less is Moore The Joke: The Academy Awards turned into America's Funniest Home Videos when Michael Moore won "Best Documentary" for Bowling for Columbine. Having just awarded Moore its highest honor for making a daring political statement, the crowd started booing loudly when Moore tried to make a statement against the Iraq war in his acceptance speech. They were all for him being daring and...

Modified: 2003-12-25
Be Cool, America. War??? Think it Over
... rather to bin-laden the whole miserable town that constituted their world, a town that was a synecdoche for America itself. Subsequent op-ed pieces described them as "evil" and wondered "why?" Here's what Eric Harris, one of the Columbine Two, had to say as why: "We're going to kick-start a revolution, a revolution of the dispossessed." To his mother, he added, "I really am sorry about this, but war's war." Earlier this year, just before the shootings at...

Modified: 2001-09-20
That 90s Sham
... Goth! A whole bevy of bands competed for your attention, including Pretty Hate Machine, NIN, and Marilyn Manson, and the evening news might even do a segment featuring people who look just like you and the decline of American values or the dangers of Columbine - even though Klebold and Harris hated Goths. 62. Suicide attempts The Sham: In the 90s, no hip college friendship was complete without comparing scars from an early-teen suicide attempt to prove your hard-knocks background. Like many of these...

Modified: 2005-12-02
In Da Times
... people to fantastic acts of suicidal violence. But the Times buried the story on page A12, concluding only that Bishop was a "very troubled young man." Papers like the Times have for years gone to great lengths to explain away stories like Columbine (it's the fault of parents, of Zoloft, etc.), but this Charles Bishop story is much more dangerous than that one, and (to steal a term from the old Black Panther newspaper) the White Power Structure wants no part of it. It will be buried tomorrow...

Modified: 2002-01-24

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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