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Death Porn September 12, 2007
Death Porn: Can Murderers Kill Fast Enough?
A few cracked cases, a few cracked skulls.
Page 2 of 3



If there's a common theme running through the cases landing on the DP Bureau's desks this week, it's that they've been solved, and quickly, too. What's responsible for this shocking efficiency on the part of Russia's finest? We have no idea. And frankly, it frightens us.

Take the recent rape and murder of a 13-year-old schoolgirl in the Khabarovsk region. With school still out and her parents nowhere to be found, the vulnerable young girl was passing time by wandering around town alone. An older man asked her if she wanted to join him for a walk. She agreed, and didn't think it weird that her companion decided to take a path through an abandoned cemetery. According to RIA Novosti, when they finally got to a special spot he wanted to show her, he beat, raped and then strangled her. But he was too wrapped up in post-coital rape bliss to bother with disposing of the body and left her there for the local strays. It's not clear how the police got onto his trail, as there were no witnesses, but on August 23 they nailed the perp. He's now awaiting trial.


Children All In The Family Really stupid criminal

This DP isn't a DP at all. It's another story of exemplary police work, this time on the part of Moscow's militsia. On the evening of August 5, after drinking more than his share of vodka at the dinner table, Muscovite Zakhir Musaev got in a heated dispute with his wife. RIA Novosti didn't report the nature of the argument, but we guess it might have had something to do with the wife's infidelity. After a long and protracted argument, which was loud and violent enough for the neighbors to call the police, the man grabbed his one-and-a-half-year-old-daughter out of bed and dangled her, Michael Jackson-style, by the foot from his balcony. This while still shouting at his wife. The cops arrived on the scene and, in a rare display of quick thinking and togetherness, unfurled a sheet just as the man let the kid fly. As in some dreamy French cartoon, the child landed in the sheet and came out of the ordeal unharmed. Her father, meanwhile, is looking at attempted murder. Did we say these cops were on the ball, or what?


All In The Family Low-yield murder Really stupid criminal Carved up like a turkey

In the city of Mirny ("peaceful"), located in the Yakutsk oblast, a 15-year-old girl got sick of repeatedly asking her father, a well-to-do director of a local diamond-mining company, for money. Why was he so stingy? Why couldn't he give her as much money as often as she asked for it? The desperate teen didn't seem to know why, but she had a solution: Daddy's ATM card. And she knew of only one way to get it: murder. She drafted her 20-year-old boyfriend to do the dirty work for her, but at the last moment decided to join in the fun. They picked a weekend when her mom would be out of town and waited for her dad to come home from work. When he got through the door, the pair pounced on him with a hammer. After rendering him unconscious with repeated blows to the head, they finished the job using a DP standard issue kitchen knife. After making sure he was dead, they packed his body into her boyfriend's car and dumped the corpse outside city limits. When they got back to the apartment to clean up the mess, they found the girl's 10-year-old brother at home. The kid told them that he just got home from a friend's house a few minutes before they got there. He lied. In fact, the kid was hiding in the closet and heard the whole thing. Armed with her daddy's ATM card, the two lovebirds got in their car and hit the road. But they didn't make it far. The little kid talked. The pair was arrested as they tried to withdraw money in a nearby town.

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