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[SIC!] September 25, 2007
Your Letters
Page 2 of 4


Dear Mr. Giovanni, Why the fuck are you still around reading blogs. There’s a war going on in Iraq, man, that’s where you’re needed. You Italians are supposed to be the backbone of patriotic America. If greasers like you would just take one minute away from abusing immigrants at your sandwich shops, or date-raping gullible Protestant girls, or hell, if you’d just move the fuck out of your mother’s houses before you’re 40, then you could at least start doing the job you Guidos were meant to do: helping America win the war. You, Giovanni, are the reason why America faces defeat today. Still wanna help us out, asshole?

The E-Conjob-omist


Great article ("The Economist: The World’s Sleaziest Magazine" eXile #271)! They also stink at economic and political forecasting. In 1999, they had an issue dedicated to oil. The predictions/conclusions included:

a) Oil prices will stay low in the foreseeable future, at around $10 a barrel, perhaps heading to as low as $5 a barrel. According to these sages, we were "drowning in oil."

b) OPEC was dead in the water.

No further comment is really necessary. You can read the original articles here:

Best regards,


Dear Mr. Sergei, You’re right, they are the world’s worst prognosticators. In that same report on Russia, they predicted, "Although today, in 1999, the eXile editors are struggling with deadlines, drugs, and erectile dysfunction, our indicators show that by 2007, The eXile will be a clean, efficient media/marketing money-making machine. There’s just no way that the editors can continue to live life as fecklessly and as they do, squandering every opportunity at success. We believe the final bell of success will be rung sometime around October 2007, when The Economist will put together a huge buyout offer to the eXile which will assure them all of stable and happy financial futures, complete editorial control, power and prestige. The only possible thing that could scutter this anticipated deal would be if the eXile ran a vicious critique of The Economist right on the eve of the buyout offer. But again, by 2007, it simply defies human behavior to assume that they would still put their bile over their pocketbooks."



Thanks for a well-researched article on the Economist. Really, thank you.



Dear Mr. Alex, Your letter wasn’t earnest enough. Do you think you got the message through to Ames simply by adding that extra half-sentence at the end? Let’s face it: using "really" to emphasize a point is so September 10th. In these dangerous times, "really" doesn’t cut it anymore. You need to put some "seriously"s and some "no-no-no"’s in there if you want Ames to read your letter and go, "H’m. Gee, he really meant it. No-no-no, not just really meant it but he totally seriously like completely meant it."


Dear War Nerd,

Let me tell you right away that I am your biggest Indian fan. I greatly enjoy your articles which show your unique insight into military matters. Most knowledgeable and enlightening I would add.

I would take the opportunity to convey a minor complain that I have with you, too. ;-)

The mercurial rise of Indian armed forces and it's implication on the world power status of India on global stage. The history shows how Indians have faced marauding hoards of hun, shakun, muslim, mongol and european invaders and stood their ground, kept their identity intact and lived with pride. While you do mention here and there in parts military prowess of Indian nation (article on Sikhs), i believe it does not encompass the bigger picture of our great military culture which has been technology driven since forever. While today's pseudo intellectuals and sissy human rights activists decry hindu cast system they fail to see the beauty of allowing a group of people a life style that grooms them in doing their military duty in a more efficient manner (Khashtriyahs being the military class). Only a war nerd like you and me will be able to look at such arrangements with an objective eye without soiling it with phony idealistic considerations :-)

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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