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Vlad's Daily Gloat - The eXile Blog

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
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Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

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May 20, 2008 in Face Control

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Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
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Editorial September 27, 2007
Rise, Oil, Rise!

This week, the price of oil rose above the $80 level for the first time in its history. By no coincidence, this is also the first week that The eXile staff has ever ordered a complete sushi lunch for its staff. After lunch, we were driven around town in our new eXile corporate cars—a fleet of brand new Hummer H2s, whose engines have been specially modified to achieve maximum fuel inefficiency. We told our drivers to keep the Hummers revving all day, because we love the smell of exhaust fumes.

What's the reason for our good fortune? Rising oil prices. 80 dollar oil been bery bery good to we.

While Westerners bemoan the rising prices at the pump, and their economies sag, we at The eXile are experiencing a kind of Happy Days that would put a smile on Mister Cunningham's face. And it's all thanks to you, the Western online reader of this newspaper.

That's right, every time you fill up the tank of your Western car at your Western gas station, you pump another fifty bucks into the Russian economy. According to studies, roughly seven of those fifty dollars you spend on gas goes directly into the pockets of The eXile's local readers and advertisers, and of that seven dollars, $2.92 goes directly into our corporate bank account.

When you consider the hundreds of millions of automobiles in North America and Europe, well, then can understand why our sales girls all have diamond-encrusted teeth, and why the editors have all undergone botox treatment, back-hair removal surgery, and gargantuan penis-enlargement procedures. We've put on 10 kilograms each of pure Novikov-restaurant fat just since Monday. Each fart alone expels over fifteen dollars worth of food gasses ingested at places like Ju-Ju and Aist.

In a word, we've never looked so good, or felt so fucking full, in our lives. And it's all thanks to you, Soccer Mom and Nascar Dad.

The eXile salutes you!

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How The Great Gazoo Stole Georgia's Democracy :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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