The Death Porn bureau has always been skeptical of murder meteorology. We've been doing this long enough to know that people get stabbed, shot, strangled and raped in equal numbers and with equal gruesomeness come rain, shine, or snow. But this year we're not so sure. In recent weeks, DP across all of Russia's 11 times zones appears to have been turned up a few notches on the nasty-o-meter. These aren't the usual crimes of passion and booze. We're talking hardcore sociopaths on the loose.
Take the October 6 burning of 12-year-old Pasha in the Altai Krai. According to the Regnum info agency, Pasha was hanging out in his apartment building's courtyard when he was spotted by a group of local teens roaming the neighborhood with a water gun loaded with gasoline. The kids were keeping themselves entertained by dousing random things with gasoline and lighting them on fire. They hadn't tried a human yet, so they chased Pasha down, gave him a good spray, and set him afire. Apparently, his dvor was empty because no one came to his aid. Pasha had to run to his apartment, which was nearby, to put out the flames. By the time he made it, he had sustained third and fourth degree burns on 80% of his body. Breathing the hot noxious flames while he ran didn't help. He burned his lungs to a crisp. Now Pasha's at the hospital hooked up to a breathing apparatus.
Here's another tale from the DP youth league, from a town called Dzerzhinskiy, right outside the MKAD. We pretty sure these kids never read or watched Clockwork Orange, if only because they never had to. Beating bums to death with sticks comes naturally to podmoskovie teens, just like squatting, spitting sunflower seeds and talking mat. Unfortunately, RIA Novosti's news bulletin is short on the details surrounding the crimes. Even the age and identity of the victim is a mystery. The only thing we know for sure is that on October 8, after beating a poor sod to death, two 15-year-old boys left him slumped over on the sidewalk where they found him. They later admitted that they killed the bum for the fun of it. Right around the same time, in the same town, two other kids, both 14, were also apprehended for beating a 40-year-old homeless man to death. For Russia's homeless, t'is the season to find a fucking shelter pronto and stay there.
On September 26, a 30-year-old woman was found dead, sprawled out on a Moscow street with her throat slashed. The police put out an APB for two Caucasian males after eyewitnesses described how two men--Caucasian in appearance--assaulted the woman as she was about to get into her Mercedes on Yaroslavskoe. According to the witnesses, after a brief struggle and a few knife slashes, the perps wrangled away the woman's purse and fled in her car. For weeks the police made no headway. On October 12, it became apparent why. The real criminal turned out to be neither a man nor a Caucasian. He was a scrawny dim-witted Slav teen. After he was booked, the scared youth sang like a canary.
According to Interfax, the 18-year-old student, whose name is not being released by police, was an avid street-racing fan. But unlike most of his friends, he didn't have a car. Seeing how he was a lowly student who came to Moscow from a small town, he couldn't foresee being able afford one any time soon. Refusing any longer to watch the street racing action from the passenger seat, he vowed to steal a car. One day while walking around, he happened to see an attractive woman getting into a sporty Mercedes coup. If I had this car, he probably fantasized, I'd mop the asphalt with the competition. His friends on their shitty souped up Ladas wouldn't stand a chance. He took a gamble and asked the woman for a short lift down the road, to the VDNKh metro station. Surprisingly, she agreed. As she started pulling out of the parking space, the kid pulled a knife from his pocket. He told the police he had no intention to cut her throat or kill her, that it was an accident. Whatever happened, after drawing a line across her jugular, he opened the woman's door and pushed her still-twitching body out onto the road. Climbing into the driver's seat, the perp took off into the street racing sunset of his dreams. We're not sure exactly what other parts of this story corroborate with the eyewitness account, but the fact that the woman had her throat slashed checks out.