Mankind's only alternative 28   JAN.   23  
Mankind's only alternative
War Nerd RSS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Feature Story December 29, 2007
Who's More Fucked in 2008? U.S. VS RUSSIA
Page 2 of 4

Ksenia Sobchak Joins Other Russia

One of the little-reported trends among privileged Muscovite babes is a kind of late-Putin-era political activism: "Golden youth" girl Masha Gaidar led an Other Russia protest and ended up in jail; her friend, the expensively-dressed opposition journalist Natalia Morar (now she wants it rewritten in Italian as "Morari," sorta like "Ferrari"), was deported soon after. Viktor Shenderovich's babe daughter was recently jailed for contempt of court. And so in 2008 it shouldn't surprise anyone when Ksenia Sobchak, ever the trendoid-victim, decides to become "political 'n stuff," and join the Other Russia opposition. After her "Thoreau moment" in jail, millions of dumb 11-17-year-old girls take to the streets and burn down Petrovka 38 in Russia's equivalent of the storming of the Bastille. Ksenia Sobchak flees to London with her purse dog, where she hosts a "Reality Dissident" TV show called "Villa-Dva" for Gusinsky's fledgling satellite network.

Year of the Russian Movie

The Russian movie and television industries have been building momentum, edging out American films and TV shows with bad Russian knockoffs and patriotic schlock that is cheaper and "nash." In 2008, Russian movies will completely overtake Hollywood imports, yet at the same time the post-Soviet movie industry will continue to crush talent wherever it rears its ugly head in order to perpetuate the current model of producer-driven art. A "Dark Age of Kino" descends upon the land of Tarkovsky and Eisenshtein, now known as "the land of Bondarchuk and adapted-for-Russian-television-sitcoms-like-Nyanya."


You thought last year was the Year of the Russian Mullet? Yeah, well, that's what you thought in 2006, too. And in 2005. Guess what 2008 will be? Yup, that's right: The Year That The Bilan Went Big. No longer confined to the under-40 male set, the Bilan mullet will cross generations, gender, and even species, as Putin grows out a back-fan to compensate for the bald-top, Medvedev and his entire cabinet adopt Bilans for the upcoming elections. Women get in on the act, as Duma deputies Svetlana Khorkina and Alina Kabaeva buzz the hair above their ears and grow their tails down to their lower backs. Lapdogs, lonely-women cats, and even Mini cars are all outfitted with Bilans. By December 31, 2008, Denis Simachev designs a giant Bilan hairdo that stretches from Kaliningrad to Kamchatka, visible to astronauts in the Mir space station.


Writers' Strike Ends, Shitty TV Returns

With the writer's strike, Americans are forced to spend a few minutes looking at their wretched lives, and the vast chasm that separates TV fantasy from American reality. As the strike continues, Americans for the first time in 40 years become interested in politics and community activism. Change is in the air. A new spirit of hope and determination sweeps the nation. Then in July, the writer's strike ends, and television returns. Americans immediately plant themselves in front of the TV, abdicating "hope" to candidates Mitt Romney and Barak Obama, who are praised as the most "telegenic" nominees ever.

Oligarchs Snap Up Dollar-Cheap Celebrities

In 2007, The Moscow Times reported that star-struck Russian oligarchs are so flush with petro-rubles that one even hired actress Gweneth Paltrow to sit in a cage during a holiday party. In 2008, as the dollar continues to collapse and Russia grows wealthier, oligarch Alisher Usmanov rents out Red Square and hires John McCain to work the party's coat check. Not to be outdone, oligarch-silovik Igor Sechin rents out Gorky Park, and hires the entire U.S. Supreme Court to sit in a makeshift nine-cage zoo, designed by Zurab Tsereteli, so that partygoers can look and point at the justices, and feed them ice cream and delicious dark Russian chocolates.

SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit

Masha 4-Everyone :
Bar Dak
Interview with James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem :

Snapper Season :

Taxi Driver: Gypsy Cab Confessions in Moscow :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442