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Vlad's Daily Gloat - The eXile Blog

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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Celeb-Retard February 1, 2008
Celebrity Retards
By Nancy Deal Browse author

Blind item

Anna Nicole Smith may be dead, but the saga of her hot-mess-ness lives on in her offspring. It has been announced that baby Danielynn, the potential heir to the hotly contested fortune of Smith's late billionaire husband, is cross-eyed. It was the drugs, right? But pimp daddy Larry Birkhead has stated that the little girl's condition doesn't have anything to do with the inordinate amount of chemicals her crackwhore mother was ingesting during gestation. "...I point-blank [asked] every single doctor, 'Could any medications that Anna was on have caused this? And they said that it's more likely that a genetic reason could have caused it." Medications? Uh-huh. Is the jury really still out on methadone usage by pregnant women? In the meantime, Danielynn sports an eye patch to help correct her wonky eyes. She's totally the next Paris Hilton in training!

Non-Operating Thetan

The world found out this week that Tom Cruise was awarded a Freedom Medal of Valor by the "Church" of Scientology. The Internet was swimming with leaked (and now pulled) video footage of the religious fanatic in what is widely claimed to be an indoctrination video for Scientology. Crazier than ever, Mr. Cruise's 10-minute video is essentially a bunch of gobbledy-gook that is even more bizarre than the couch-jumping incident, and possibly more painful to watch than his interview with Matt Lauer.

Tom rambles on incoherently, peppering his inane jimble-jamble with occasional maniacal laughter. He does what he can, the way he does everything... If you hate yourself enough to subject yourself to it, as of this writing the video has not yet been pulled from Gawker.Com.

Britney forgets her corncob

For anyone who lives in a cave and missed it during the holidays, Britney Spears has gone officially, publicly, totally and completely batshit. Most are now speculating that she has a mental illness, including but not limited to bipolar disease and possibly even multiple personality disorder.

Blah blah blah. The news this week is that during her many visits to Ralph's grocery store and other hotspots like 7-Eleven and Starbucks, Britney pulled a Lohan and left the house wearing no pants. But pants weren't the only thing she forgot: Britney's monthly visitor apparently dropped by at a paparazzi-filled parking lot. Apparently x17 was the only website that was not above publishing the pix of Britney black-and-white-and-red all over. Celebrity gossips everywhere have been hypocritically balking at x17's lack of ethics in posting the pictures. Nigga please. Bitch loves this shit.

Britney's trail of blood put an end to the pregnancy rumors that started the day before when Brit-Brit and shady pap boyfriend Adnan Ghalib made a big deal of shopping for HPTs at the local drugstore.

The US has something to offer you now, Moscow expats!

After a recent pseudo-scandal triggered by photos showing her in suggestive, lesbian-type activity, fifteen-year old actress Miley Cyrus (aka Hannah Montana), the object of pedophile fantasies everywhere, got a makeover. The new look has sparked even more inappropriate comments by Lolita lurkers on tha Internets with only one hand on the keyboard. Hurry up and stock up on Ya Sam baby lotion before she grows some pubes!

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Russian Quotes For Foreign Hacks : Worried About Your March 2nd Election Story?

Separated At Ugly Stick :
Ofis Space
September Sadness : Back to the office, where it’s the same old shit, plus tans.

Nato Stooges Unplugged : Bugged Telephone Call Reveals Shocking NATO Involvement...Georgian President Praises Financial Times’s Role In Propaganda War


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


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