Mankind's only alternative 2   FEB.   23  
Mankind's only alternative

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

[SIC!] February 20, 2008
Your Letters
Page 3 of 3


War Nerd,

You are right - the carrier battle groups are nothing but big targets. You may be aware that the Imperial Japanese Navy wargamed the Battle of Midway. The games always ended with the Japanese carriers on the bottom. Fearing that this result might displease the naval command, the wargamers changed the rules unrealistically so that the Japanese always won. You know what really happened.


Dear Mr. Ned, Yes, unfortunately, we do know what happened. The United States wound up making a movie in the 70s called "The Battle of Midway," which featured "Sensurround." My god, it's even worse than we'd feared! This means...when the battle of the Straits of Hormuz is filmed 10 years from now, featuring the great victory over the "Filipino Monkey" and the speedboats with their boxes, that the movie will be the first to feature "Fagaround," whereby the movie theater patrons will feel it in their guts what it's actually like to be in a 2 billion dollar destroyer facing off against a couple of Iranian waterskiers and a guy with a CB radio. War is hell, Ned! Hell I tell ya!


Dear War Nerd,

Hi, my name is Ignacio Carugati from Uruguay, I recently managed to read your article "Take Americas Navy Battle Group...Please!", really good stuff over there. But then I realized that you wrote another one aobut the "Triple Alianza" war, it was just great. I mean this is a real lame way to say "hey congratulations!" but I think that this tiny little things give you a little push to keep writing that way.

So this is my salute to you, and keep up the good work.

Kind Regards,


PS.: Sorry for my english like you would probably know Im not a native speaker.

Dear Mr. Ignacio, Just so long as your English is good enough to understand "mow lawn" and "leaf blower in garage" and "no money to pay you" and "go home or I call INS" well that's all the English we really care about.

SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit

Nato Stooges Unplugged : Bugged Telephone Call Reveals Shocking NATO Involvement...Georgian President Praises Financial Times’s Role In Propaganda War

Top Of The World Clubbin' : Moscow From The Shadows To The 21st Floor
Shawarma Shuttle
Shwarma Shuttle Of The Week :

Blair Recounts Catholic Ritual :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442