Mankind's only alternative 18   AUG.   22  
Mankind's only alternative
War Nerd RSS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Editorial February 13, 2008
Anne Applebaum On Capitalism And Russian Beauty
Blyadi and the East By Anne Applebaum Browse author
Page 2 of 2

Something about this talk of open markets had my Old Russia Hand friend whinnying and salivating, and he couldn't wait to taste the free market benefits for himself. Without even letting me finish, he was out of his chair and bargaining with one of the London hotel lobby Ukrainian whores--that's right, "bargaining!" What better expression of the free market than bargaining!

Ah yes, we all have free markets to thank for our idyllic state of female beauty today, whether in England or Russia, and don't forget it.

I optimistically ended my last column by noting that you'll soon have the free markets to thank for other things as well, like the future-Ukrainian doctors who will cure your cancer, and future-Polish stockbrokers who will make you a fortune. Unfortunately you'll have to wait a bit more for that inevitable utopian moment, as today's free market Ukrainian doctors (or what's left of them since most abandoned the profession in the 1990s when their salaries dropped to levels that would make a Delhi street urchin laugh in their faces) demand bribes for treating everything from a sore throat to a severed artery, and in fact what's left of today's Ukrainian doctors is a mob of quacks so dangerously incompetent they couldn't diagnose a pregnancy from a bee sting, even if a tiny screaming head plopped out of a woman's dilated vulva, thrashing about for air and spitting afterbirth on the Ukrainian doctor's face.

Meanwhile, personal experience tells me that you would better trust your cash with a Hunter's Point crackhead than with a Polish stockbroker.

But that will soon change. Patience, everyone. It's only been twenty years since the markets were opened. It may take another 20 years, or 20 decades, before free markets create East Europeans who offer Westerners something besides whores. In the meantime, what's the rush?

Just ask my old Russia hand friend. His old hand has gone from spending years in his lap to 200 dollar sessions on young Moldovan girls' orifices, and he would be the first to say that it's never been a happier hand.

Anne Applebaum is a columnist for the Washington Post. She contributed this special column to The eXile.

SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit

The OSCE Shuffle :
Stop-Loss Film Review
Kimberly Peirce's Boys Do Cry: A Review of Stop-Loss :
Celebrity Retards
Celebrity Retards :

50 Reasons Why Russia Still Matters :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442