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Mankind's only alternative

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

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Bardak Calendar March 7, 2008
Moscow Nitelife Roundup
By Jared Lindquist Browse author
Say hello to Women's Day

First off the bat, let’s get this silly Women’s Day holiday out of the way. If you’re P-whipped, you’ll probably be taking your date to see Russia’s favorite foreign indie band: BRAZZAVILLE (March 8, Apelsin, 20:00). For some odd reason, this American by way of Barcelona band has becoming exceedingly successful here, touring the country two or three times a year. If there were more bands adept at doing this, the phrase "Big in Russia" could start to replace "Big in Japan"…

True exholes will, of course, be taking their dates to see LENINGRAD (March 8, 21:30, Tochka) for Women’s Day. What could be more romantic than listening to Russia’s most vulgar band singing "gde zhe vy blyadi (where are you whores)" and "bez tebya pizdets (without you everything is fucked)"?

The absolute pussies among you will, of course, have to drag your dyevs to see CHRIS DE BURGH (March 9, Kremlin Palace, 19:00), in order to hear him sing that annoying "Lady in Red" song, and a dozen others.

Now that that’s out of the way, we can get down to business. California’s MAD CADDIES (March 10, Apelsin, 20:00) have been playing competent ska punk since the mid-90s. I can’t say I really care at this point, but when I was in high school, shit like this was the bomb.

I’ve seen German whirling dervish NAMOSH (March 14, 16 Tons, 23:00) two or three times in Moscow, and the gig is always fun. He’s a semi-nerdy guy, running around the stage like a crazy man, with only his sampler to back him up. Fun stuff, especially if you’re a bit on the drunk side.

This band TANZWUT (March 15, Tochka, 20:00) comes here every year or so, and one of these visits, I’ve got to eventually check out. I mean, they’re a German medieval rock / industrial band that plays bagpipes. It sounds so awful, that it might be worth trying to get guest listed just for shits n giggles.

Another German band that I’m certain to avoid is ska group BENUTS (March 15, Tabula Rasa, 19:00). I just can’t get into this stuff anymore, although I should note that anyone looking for nubile alternative-y teenager girls could do much worse than attending a ska gig here. Locals SKALPEL, PRIVATE RADIO and KIOSK support.

Those of you interested in hip-hop (but not the bling that Moscow’s community has adopted more than the music), would do well to check out the Dutch band ILLICIT (March 16, Ikra, 21:00). In this gig, they could be compared to THE ROOTS. Name-dropping COMMON or OUTKAST would also not be out of the ordinary. Local rapper NOIZE MC opens.

Avant garde electronic musician ROBIN RIMBAUD (March 18, Bilingua, 21:00) is better known as SCANNER, so-called for his utilization of cell phone and police scanners in live performances. He’s been producing his offbeat electronic music for 20 years now, and I have to say, I have no idea what he’s going to be doing here – although the list of people he’s worked with, such as BRYAN FERRY, RADIOHEAD and COLIN NEWMAN, suggest it’ll be pretty far out - but the gig is apparently free.

Looking at the bands members of DOWN (March 18, B1 Maximum, 21:00) were in before – PANTERA, CORROSION OF CONFORMITY, CROWBAR and EYEHATEGOD – it’s pretty easy to know what you’re in for here: metal. Loud, and heavy. Not my cup of tea, but you could do worse, I suppose.

Speaking of worse, guitarist RICHIE KOTZEN (March 19, Apelsin, 20:00) played in POISON and MR. BIG, in both cases long after the bands had ceased to be relevant. He is joined by Mr. Big’s drummer PAT TORPEY and SLASHS SNAKEPIT bassist JOHNNY GRIPARIC.

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Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

War Nerd Summer Reading Guide
The War Nerd By Gary Brecher
It’s summer, you’ve got a little more time off, so you can read up on war instead of trying to live in whatever boring suburb you live in. Lawns, neighbors, dogs, kids—it all sucks and the best thing you can do is get as far out of it as you can.


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