Mankind's only alternative 3   DEC.   22  
Mankind's only alternative

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Automotive Section July 26, 2001
eXile Zap Rally - Full Steam Ahead
By Matt Taibbi Browse author
Map of the Rally

There have been many questions... yes, many questions about the upcoming eXile/Stringer Zaporozhets road rally. I myself have received about a dozen letters from would-be participants who wanted more information about the race, and how to enter it. For reasons I would rather not discuss here -- reasons that have nothing at all to do with pharmaceuticals -- I have been unable to answer most of these questions in the last few weeks.

Yesterday, though, I went to Arzamas to inspect the start site, and I have more details of the race to share. I'll address each issue separately:


When we made our first announcement about the race, we had a small stable of Zaporozhtsi in Arzamas that we were prepared to issue to sponsors for a fee. We found those sponsors fairly quickly, which means we now have no more Zaporozhtsi to offer, for any amount of money. In fact, we have nearly exhausted the supply of driveable Zaporozhtsi in Arzamas, which means that any other entrants will probably have to bring cars from another city.

As concerns those other entrants, here's the deal. Anyone with a functioning Zaporozhets (remember, we're restricting the race to the older "gorbaty" model) can enter the race. There is only one restriction, and that is a $100 entrance fee. Now, originally there was no fee, and we apologize for not making that clear from the start. But necessity has forced our hand. What the fee pays for is basically technical support. We've hired a chase truck that will be carrying mechanics, spare parts, even two spare Zap engines. Anyone who breaks down during the race will be helped back on the road, guaranteed, assuming the problem is not catastrophic, like the simultaneous loss of all four wheels (a phenomenon, incidentally, which is apparently not uncommon in this model). It took some funds to put this together on our end, so we need to charge the fee to recover some of our costs.

Otherwise, the original deal stands. If you make it to Arzamas for the 11:00 a.m. start time on August 18, you're in. You're welcome to decorate your car any way you like.

A normal car can make it from Arzamas to Moscow in about a half day. For a column of Zaps, we're conservatively estimating two days of travel. The start, again, is at 11:00 a.m. on Saturday, August 18, at the Lenin statue in the center of town. There will be a press conference, a musical overture, and a brief lecture on personal hygiene before the start.

From Arzamas we will travel -- with a GAI escort -- to Nizhni Novgorod. We estimate our arrival there at 14:30. In Nizhni we will hold the first of several "mitingi" -- the theme has yet to be decided upon. After about an hour pause in Nizhni, the Zaps will roll again -- this time in the direction of Vladimir.

Before reaching Vladimir, the column will pull over to the side of the road at a pre-chosen site to get drunk for the night. The drinking will be extremely heavy and we advise those who are considering entering the race to be very sure of their stamina before they commit themselves to this endeavor. Racers are allowed to bring tents, but it is our hope -- and expectation -- that everybody involved will be drunk enough to sleep in their cars, no matter how small they might be.

A note about Zaps. I drove the eXile car yesterday for the first time and can report a little about the experience. There is plenty of leg room forward; it's the horizontal legroom that's the bigger issue. Nonetheless, I drove the car comfortably at 6'2". As for the actual drive, the Zap ride is exactly what you'd expect from a car that weighs 600 kilograms -- it drives like a souped-up go-cart. The vehicle is relatively indifferent to the surface underneath it -- it drives on and off-road practically without noticing.

SHARE:  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
Bearded Intelligentsia
Field Guide To Moscow: Garrulus Garrulus :
Restaurant Review
Maki Kafe, Old Is The New New : By V. Cherkesov

HALT! - the eXile Guide To State Repression :

Gilligan's Gulf :


Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...


    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442