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Unfiled February 6, 2002
 
Buy A Baggie, Save A Child
By John Dolan Browse author Email
 
Page 2 of 2
 
CUT TO: a lonely, plain woman slaving away in a Houston cubicle. The camera pans around her cubicle, lingering on the heartbreaking emblems of her empty life: a bitter Dilbert cartoon, a 2002 calendar empty of dates with a picture of a desperate kitten on a rope, all too obvious an allegory of the woman's life. Suddenly a fat angry man blocks our view; he hectors the woman, demanding some overdue report, and she cringes, moans to herself as she looks for the missing papers. At last her day is over, and she slogs her way into the hot, smoggy streets, backed up in traffic for almost an hour. Slumping up the stairs to her tiny apartment, she runs directly to the bedside table, grabs a tiny plastic baggie...but realizes with horror that it's all but empty. She runs to the phone, makes a call; we hear her moaning, "None? Not even -- I'll pay, if that's the problem, I kin go to th' bank m'chine -- " a long silence. "Wull why not? What happened? Where'd it all go? What'm'ah gonna DO? I got nuthin' else! She screams, louder this time, "I got nuthin' ELSE!"

As the woman sobs helplessly, CUT BACK TO the child, also sobbing hopelessly in the field of ruined poppy plants. She runs to her father's corpse, tries to drag it by the arm. Her mother is howling; the other children are screaming in bewilderment and terror.

As the scene goes dark, a voiceover by Bill Bennett: "The Drug War: We'll hunt down all you whores." Another, neutral male voice: "This advertisement has been paid for by all you whores. Thank you for your support. We now return to Super Bowl CCXXXIV, brought to you by a bunch of beer companies promoting a stone-age drug that makes you fat and stupid, which is the way we like you."

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