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Book Review July 25, 2002
Skunk Prose: This Is Your Book On Pot
By John Dolan Browse author Email
Page 4 of 4
So the only Rastas Preston meets are from "Exodus," a lame white sub-sect skulking around a London suburb. They're clearly the sort of jerks who wore Crass stencils in the 80s and lived in dyke-run squats in Epping fucking Forest. But Preston's earnest piety requires that even these jerks be taken seriously. So we get exchanges like this:

"I ask [one of the English Rastas] what role cannabis plays in the philosophy of the Exodus people. 'Weed opens up that vessel to your conscience,' he says. 'It's the plant of peace, and yet it's banned.' His own philosophy is an underlay of the love-based tenets of Christianity with some Bob Marley and Rastafarian love of cannabis spread like chocolate syrup on top of the sundae. 'What's your spiritual belief, Brian?'

"I tell him I'm still a seeker, but that I believe our lives have an important spiritual component, and that there are times when I am high on marijuana that I feel closer to a oneness with some compassionate life-giving power."

My God, what a catalogue of lies, cliches, and sheer stupidity! "a oneness with some compassionate life-giving power"? "The weed of peace"? (Ah yes, the peace which prevaileth during elections in Jamaica, the peace of the Yardie gangs!) "The love-based tenets of Christianity"? "I'm still a seeker"? -- A "seeker"? It's like reading a Cat Stevens lyric!

-- And that utter crap about the "philosophy" of the Head Zombie Bob Marley, that braindead phoney whose music thrived on the fact that it was so slow and dull that the rhythmically-impaired -- Dutch, Germans, and even Canadians -- could dance to it, or at least affect a sort of bobbing shuffle like that of heavily medicated mental patients.

After reading Preston's survey of Stoner culture around the globe, I've come to realize that my dream, the great United Druggie Front, will never materialize. I consider myself a broadminded person -- a "seeker," if you will. To fight the DEA, I'd ally myself with Satanists, Baptists, or even people who watch "Will And Grace."

But I could never associate with pot-heads.

[Editor's Note: In the interests of disclosure, we should note that Brian Preston wrote the November 15, 1998 article about the eXile titled "Bright Lights, Red Square" for Rolling Stone magazine, an article that made our newspaper famous and helped seal our deals with our book publisher, film production company, and the William Morris Agency. And this is how we repay the poor bastard. As Bugs Bunny would say, "Ain't we a stinkah?" Moreover, Mark Ames, being of Moroccan descent, objected to Dr. Dolan's descriptions of his ancestors, and therefore recused himself from editing this piece.]

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The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

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