Mankind's only alternative 21   MAR.   23  
Mankind's only alternative
Welcome
MAIN  RUSSIA  WAR NERD   [SIC!]  BAR-DAK  THE VAULT  ABOUT US  RSS
 
 
EXILE BLOGS

The Fall of The eXile For all those wondering what the "Save The eXile Fundrasier" banner is all about, here it is as simply as it can be phrased: The eXile is shutting down.
June 11, 2008 in eXile Blog

War Nerd: War of the Babies in Taki's Magazine The War Nerd talks about babies, the greatest weapon of the 20th century.
May 28, 2008 in eXile Blog

Kids, Meet Your President A website for Russian kids to learn all about President Medvedev's passion for school, sports and family.
May 22, 2008 in eXile Blog

Cellphone Democracy Cam If this girl was exposed to Jeffersonian democracy...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Dyev Photos Yet another hot Russian babe imitating the Catpower look...
May 20, 2008 in Face Control

Proof That Genetic Memory Is Real! Sure, the Ottomans shut down the Istanbul Slavic slave markets centuries ago...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Russia's Orthodox Church Youth Outreach Program The priest is going, "Father Sansei is very impressed with grasshopper Sasha’s...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

More Classy B&W Club Photos w/Russian Dyevs We took the Pepsi Challenge here...
May 15, 2008 in Face Control

Blogs RSS feed

Feature Story August 8, 2002
 
Bitch Slapped
By Seth Wienberg Browse author
 
Page 4 of 7
 
After the workout, the group splits up and Mark Ionovich hands me a pair of blue gloves.

"Put these on," he says. "It's time to fight."

Mark Ionovich calls Edik over. I secure the Velcro straps on my gloves and Edik and I climb in the ring.

We are to spar for two 2-minute rounds.

"OK, now take it easy, Edik," Mark Ionovich advises. "We don't need to hurt him."

We tap gloves in the center of the ring and start playing salki, but this time with punches. As we circle one another, my arms are paralyzed and my fists glued to my face. I'm straining to remember the crucial parts of the stance while dodging Edik's jabs. "Right shoulder down, right elbow covering gut, head tucked near left shoulder, left fist in front ready to jab, stay loose," I think to myself.

I finally build up enough courage to strike. My left jab catches Edik in the right shoulder. He quickly responds with a light shot to left jaw, exactly where Mark Ionovich had said I would get killed. Surprisingly, it doesn't hurt much. I had thought that all punches would hurt a little, but the gloves definitely take away the sting. Edik is taking it easy on me, perhaps handling me as if I were a 5 year-old girl.

The rest of the session follows the same pattern. I land a jab to Edik's chest or shoulder, he punches me in the face. I swing and miss, he pops me in the gut. The enjoyable part is prancing around the ring pretending I'm a real boxer.

Ionovich calls the second round.

"Not bad," he says, straining to make me feel good. "Maybe you'll come fight for our club!"

After the workout, Oksana, Mark Ionovich and I meet in the office. Oksana is a 27 year-old boxer at Kitek and also Mark Ionovich's secretary. She is splitting time between making tea for us and doing bookwork. Mark Ionovich tells us he'll return after his shower and exits the room. Oksana and I are alone.

She has a stunning body. Her physique recalls that of an Olympic high jumper rather than a boxer. She is 5'10" with long, sinewy legs and lean, muscular arms; not buff, just perfectly toned. A face that has taken maybe a few too many blows is her only noticeable flaw. Despite her Slavic heritage, with her blonde hair you could imagine her performing remarkable athletic feats in a Leni Reifenstahl film as an archetype of Aryan physical perfection. She seems oblivious to my gawking, even more so to my lecherous thoughts.

She tells me she started boxing about three years ago, fulfilling a lifelong dream. "In my hometown the only sports at school were wrestling and volleyball," she says. "I told them I wanted to learn to fight, and they said: 'Why don't you just go play volleyball?'"
A pussy with poor technique: Mark Ionovich trying to teach me a stance.

A pussy with poor technique: Mark Ionovich trying to teach me a stance.

Oksana has one of the more intriguing and sad biographies of any of the fighters at Kitek. She arrived in Moscow in 1993 from Borovichi, a town in which she says there is nothing to do except "roast potatoes and eat them." After studying in Moscow for a year at the Chemical-Technical Institute, the distant relatives with whom she was living kicked her out. She subsequently quit the institute and found a job working construction, an arrangement which allowed her to sleep at the construction site.

"I've worked everywhere, though," she tells me. "I was a stagehand at the Lenkom Theater. I made $20 a month there. Once I was even a juggler of heavy weights in the circus."

Oksana found out about Kitek three years ago and asked Mark Ionovich if she could join the club.

"He looked at me and said, 'Well, you're probably too old to start,'" she recalls. "He asked me how old I was, and I lied and told him I was 19. He only found out at our first competition that I was 24. I had to show my passport."

Oksana has been married for four years, but her husband piled up so many debts that he had to leave Moscow for good. She hasn't heard from him in three years.


SHARE:  Del.icio.us  Digg  My Web  Facebook  Reddit
 
 
FROM THE VAULT

The Road to Perdition: America 2000 - 2005 :

Propaganda Marathon : One Week In the Life of State TV News

X YEARS WASTED : A Decade In Exile

iPafos with the iBook :
 

 
 
 
LATEST ARTICLES

Save The eXile: The War Nerd Calls Mayday
Editorial
The future of The eXile is in your hands! We're holding a fundraiser to save the paper, and your soul. Tune in to Gary Brecher's urgent request for reinforcements and donate as much as you can. If you don't, we'll be overrun and wiped off the face of the earth, forever.

Scanning Moscow’s Traffic Cops
Automotive Section
We’re happy to introduce a new column in which we publish Moscow’s raw radio communications, courtesy of a Russian amateur radio enthusiast. This issue, eXile readers are given a peek into the secret conversations of Moscow’s traffic police, the notorious "GAIshniki."

Eleven Years of Threats: The eXile's Incredible Journey
Feature Story By The eXile
Good Night, and Bad Luck: In a nation terrorized by its own government, one newspaper dared to fart in its face. Get out your hankies, cuz we’re taking a look back at the impossible crises we overcame.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Russia's freedom-loving free market martyr Mikhail Khodorkovsky answers some of this week's letters, and he's got nothing but praise for President Medvedev.

Clubbing Adventures Through Time
Club Review By Dmitriy Babooshka
eXile club reviewer Babooshka takes a trip through time with the ghost of Moscow clubbing past, present and future, and true to form, gets laid in the process.

The Fortnight Spin
Bardak Calendar By Jared Lindquist
Jared comes out with yet another roundup of upcoming bardak sessions.

Your Letters
[SIC!]
Richard Gere tackles this week's letters. Now reformed, he fights for gerbil rights all around the world.

13 Toxic Talents: Hollywood’s Worst Polluters
America By Eileen Jones
Everybody complains about celebrities, but nobody does anything about them. People, it’s time to stop fretting about whether we’re a celebrity-obsessed culture—we are, we have been, we’re going to be—and instead take practical steps to clean up the celebrity-obsessed culture we’ve got...

 
 
 

    MAIN    |    RUSSIA    |    WAR NERD     |    [SIC!]    |    BAR-DAK    |    THE VAULT    |    ABOUT US    |    RSS

© "the eXile". Tel.: +7 (495) 623-3565, fax: +7 (495) 623-5442
E-mail: office@exile.ru